Some Thoughts on Exercise

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when
she was 60. She's 97 now & we don't know where she is!

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

I have to exercise in the morning before my brain
figures out what I'm doing.

I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our
toes, he would have put them further up our body.

I like long walks, especially when people who annoy
me take them.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach
covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you
die healthier.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start
with a small country.

I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.