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Thread: Kitchen disasters II

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  1. #1

    Why My Mom Stopped Baking

    yes, this is a true story. I can bake and cook, and the worst disaster I've had has been to set fire to a tea towel once. However...

    My mom made shortbread cookies once. Shortbread cookies are NOT hard to make, and include very few ingredients. So, she spends the time, makes up the dough and bakes them.

    She asked me what colour to make the icing (i was all of about 10), so I said blue since thats my fav colour. We ended up with smurf blue icing on slightly singed cookies. As I walked towards the back door with the newly made smurf blue cookie, i accidently dropped the cookie on the floor.

    The tile cracked. The cookie? Completely intact.

    The vaccume dog, who would eat -anything- that hit the floor ran over grabbed it, looked really worried, and dropped it.

    My dad said we could use them as hockey pucks on the rink in our backyard, but someone might get hurt.

    The cookies? Into the bin. My mom never baked again. The End


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    22,005
    A bump inspired by Randi...(the other one was in the Dog House...oops)
    "Do or do not. There is no try." -- Yoda

  3. #3
    When I was married to my first husband who was in the AF and we were living in base housing, we made a practice of inviting service men to dinner, the ones who had no wife or family w/them. One Thanksgiving my parents visited and we also invited a couple of my husband's friends. Given our youth and AF pay, thankfully my parents paid for the turkey but I still didn't have a lot of cookware, so I oven roasted the turkey on a cookie sheet. Hey, it was all I had!

    We lived in an old restored southern mansion in VA that was divided into apartments for the servicemen. The floor coverings were linoleum except for the living room and that included the bedrooms. My son was not even 2 years old at the time and his bedroom was just off the kitchen; there were 3 steps leading from the kitchen into his bedroom. The dining room table was set, everyone was gathered 'round and eager to dig in to the feast. I took the turkey out of the oven and it slid all over the cookie sheet. I tried, unsuccessfully, to balance it until I could get it to the counter but it slid off the cookie sheet, down the steps and under my son's bed. No one knew what had happened but I was hysterical w/laughter while I tried to get the turkey out from under the bed but, of course, it was slippery and I just batted it all over the place. I finally managed to get my hands on it and I took it back into the kitchen, rinsed it off as best I could, took it to the dining table and no one was ever the wiser. I laughed through the entire dinner, much to my husband's chagrin.
    Blessings,
    Mary



    "Time and unforeseen occurrence befall us all." Ecclesiastes 9:11

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Kentucky, LAND OF THE EASILY AMUSED
    Posts
    25,224
    Quote Originally Posted by Medusa
    I finally managed to get my hands on it and I took it back into the kitchen, rinsed it off as best I could, took it to the dining table and no one was ever the wiser. I laughed through the entire dinner, much to my husband's chagrin.
    MMMM, Dust bunnies!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    Geneva, IL
    Posts
    4,120
    An absolutely priceless story, Mary. You gave me my morning smile.
    *Until one has loved an animal, a part of ones soul remains unawakened.* Anatole France

  6. #6

    "Eating OFF the table" ???



    An "oldie" Dawg Tail...

    We had Lady, a fluffy lil Pom/Mix Rescue, while I was in HS.

    The Folks were hosting a Dinner Party for friends...
    Mom was slaving in the kitchen with a BIG, fancy, roast or ham...

    Lady was helping Mom - CONSTANTLY underfoot and *sniffing*
    at the oven every time Mom opened it to tend the meat...
    They "agreed" that Lady could STAY on her rug beside
    the breakfast table...

    Meat "done" - it was placed on the platter - ON the breakfast table -
    to "rest" a few moments...

    Mom, busy with side dishes, salads, and rolls -
    was NOT *watching* her 4-legged Assistant -

    Who hopped up on a breakfast table chair,
    then hopped up ON the breakfast table...
    and began to "sample" the Main Course!

    Everyone else was in the living room - when we heard the
    familiar "*STOMP*" of Mom's foot on the floor followed by
    by a rather loud "OH, LADY!!" ( )

    Lady proceded to Beat Feet upstairs to seek refuge under my bed;
    while Dad went to the kitchen to "calm" Mom...

    It was decided to "surgicaly remove" the sampled area
    and re-brown the meat a few more minutes to "hide the evidence".

    Dad was instruced to "carve" from the Other End -
    and NO ONE needed to know anything more!

    I still don't know if Mom ever admitted to their friends what
    had happened - But she was ready to KILL Dad -
    His "banter" throughout dinner was along the lines of...
    This roast sure SHRUNK...
    I'm SURE it was bigger when it went IN the oven...
    Looks like someone carved a hunk off here...
    And there's a few potatoes missing...
    And to Lady, (laying in HER spot beside the phone table)
    - do YOU know anything??"


    Mom kept trying to Change The Subject.
    Sis and I kept *giggling*.
    The Guests kept saying How Good dinner was!
    And Lady didn't eat much of her Krunchies that night.


    /s/ Phred
    -------------------------------------------------

    Above stolen from an Old Jazzcat / Ripley (Kat) Cake Tail (2004) at >>>
    A Jazzcat / Ripley Tail...

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Ploss's Halfway House for Homeless Cats
    Posts
    18,311
    Oh Mary, I'm laughing so hard I'm crying, picturing you chasing a runaway turkey under your son's bed!!!! If your guests only KNEW!!!!!

    Rest In Peace Casey (Bubba Dude) Your paw print will remain on my heart forever. 12/02
    Mollie Rose, you were there for me through good times and in bad, from the beginning.Your passing will leave a hole in my heart.We will be together "One Fine Day". 1994-2009
    MooShoo,you left me too soon.I wasn't ready.Know that you were my soulmate and have left me broken hearted.I loved you like no other. 1999 - 2010See you again "ONE FINE DAY"
    Maya Linn, my heart is broken. The day your beautiful blue eyes went blind was the worst day of my life.I only wish I could've done something.I'll miss your "premium" purr and our little "conversations". 1997-2013 See you again "ONE FINE DAY"

    DO NOT BUY WHILE SHELTER ANIMALS DIE!!

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