Two stories about medicine that trouble me.

[Lobodeb]

Wow! This is really an interesting story.

My brother is mentally and physically disabled. He is 34 years old, is 5' 3" tall and weighs 150 pounds. He is blind and unable to speak. He is ambulatory, but with assistance. He requires assistance with all ADLs. He wears Depends 24/7, but is on a toileting schedule. He's stubborn as hell and very abstinent and near impossible to lift on your own. When he's not cooperating, it takes three men to move him. If you startle him, he throws a great right hook. And his nails must be kept short otherwise they're half of an inch into your flesh. He has been beaten and both physically and sexually abused by his caretakers. We do not have the means or the skills required to care for him.

I once asked my mom if she knew he was going to be like this, if she would have had an abortion. Her reply? "Yes."

My point of talking about him is that he is extremely difficult (for lack of a better word) to care for. I tried working in an assisted living facility and couldn't do it. I worked in a house of 3 women. The times during their menstruation's was nauseating. Caring for yourself at this time of month is a pain in and of itself. Dealing with someone else's menses is in a league of its own. I am able to communicate my pain and discomfort, they hit, bit, kicked and scratched.

I can't imagine having to make these kinds of decisions for an ill child. I pray that I will never know what these people are going through. I will say this, though, having a hysterectomy doesn't guarantee no sexual abuse will come to this poor child. It just means there will be no evidence left behind if it does happen.

Richard, I understand feeling strongly about something, but I feel you're being a little defensive.

But this comment put me over the edge:

Because I don't have indoor plumbing that makes me unable to feel?


Geez, that smacks of sexism....just a little bit.

It seems that I always get hit with that argument.

I guess I am not entitled to an opinion because of my genetic makeup...sorry.

How is it that you can complain about sexism when you post this in a different thread?

Madam Speaker,

Men and women are created equal... until you try to keep your shoes dry doing Number 1!

Why is that always a measure of equality?

I can't say I would or wouldn't do things differently if I was in this couple's shoes. I'll never know. Neither will you.

[cassiesmom]

He has been beaten and both physically and sexually abused by his caretakers.

Oh, Lobodeb. I'm a nurse and this just breaks my heart. There is no reason - NONE - for caretakers to inflict pain or abuse on the ones for whom they are caring (not that I would call it caring at that stage).

My grandmother's husband lived in several nursing homes for the last years of his life due to a spinal cord injury. He had good caregivers and bad caregivers. When the care was lacking, he developed things like constipation, malnutrition, urinary tract infections and pressure ulcers. When the care was good, his health was also good. I guess part of what these parents are doing is making their daughter physically easier to be cared for, so that she can remain as healthy as possible. I worked in a rehabilitation hospital for almost ten years - it was a heck of a lot of work and there were days when I was less than happy with the people I was caring for - but that never gave me license to do them harm.

[RICHARD]

Okay...so you think pain and suffering is noble and romantic.

THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR..


Imagine that, a Latin/Mexican male that can't sell romance.


Let's do this.

There are many wonderful attempts, thru the Modern Miracles of Science that allow parents and their children to lead fairly normal lives.


Cleft palate? Supernuerary digits? Cranial vault remodel? Nasty nevus?
People get their kids a sugery to help them lead normal lives.

I am not against all surgery, nor am I an advocate for pain and suffering.

I do have some qualms about parents having their kids operated on to insert bone into the legs to make them taller. Hormones because they are to slow to develop.

Designer tastes in parents? Designer kids!
The parents transfer their pain and suffering to their kids who undergo their own P&S.

Individual P&S is individual.
It measures differently from person to person.

My pain may be your party. We will never know about the PA's pain because she can't tell us.

And without her uterus we'll really never know about painful menses.

----------------------------

My basic beef with this whole topic is the fact that people can make very dramatic decisions for people in their care.

Just how much was the surgery for this child gonna benefit her?

The parents?

-------------------

So here is the 64 dollar question!

I know the answer, but let's play anyway.

You stroke out and will be coma for the rest of your days.
You will live on a respirator, in bed.

what's next?

For me, there is not quality of life issue there.

Pull my plug and let someone have my spot.

-------------------------

I guess putting loves notes into the XGF's underwear drawer wasn't romantic? .


P.S.

Pam,

Should I ever open my own cult or sect you will be on the list to sermonize for my followers!


Amen.

[Edwina's Secretary]

There are many wonderful attempts, thru the Modern Miracles of Science that allow parents and their children to lead fairly normal lives.

There is nothing that can be done for this child to live anything CLOSE to a normal life.

Her parents have chosen, in consultation with qualifed medical personnel, to try and make her life as comfortable and painfree as possible.

I believe if I had a child I would walk through the fires of hell (see...even anglos can be dramatic) to prevent my child from pain and suffering.

And that is what her parents are doing.

My family knows what I want in the event I am unable to communicate. This child cannot communicate so her parents must decide for her. What a huge, mind boggling responsibility. I do not believe they made it from anything but the desire to give the best possible quality of life under horrendous circumstances.

[RICHARD]

There is nothing that can be done for this child to live anything CLOSE to a normal life.

(see...even anglos can be dramatic)

Thanks for making my point.


And I always thought that drama was more a democratic trait...

[Lobodeb]

Heavens Special Child

A meeting was held quite far from Earth
It's time again for another birth
Said the Angel to the Lord above
This Special Child will need much love
His progress may seem slow
Accomplishments he may not show
And he'll require extra care
From folks he meets way down there
He may not run, laugh or play
His thoughts may seem quite far away
In many ways he won't adapt
And he'll be known as handicapped
So let's be careful where he's sent
We want his life to be content
Please Lord find the parents who
Will do this Special job for you
They will not realize it right away
The Special role they're asked to play
But with this child sent from above
Comes a richer much stronger love
Soon they'll know the privilege given
In caring for this gift from Heaven
Their precious gift so meek, and mild
He is Heaven's Special Child!



Author Unknown

[Edwina's Secretary]

Yes RICHARD...I am glad you agree with me....the parents in this case are truely selfless HEROS......doing a job they rest of us can barely stand to think about....and doing it the best they can.