Ann, I am so sorry you had all those losses. Truly I am. But I cannot understand how you blame God for all of them. God is our Father, and like any loving parent lets us make mistakes and choices, b/c of free will. Of course I am not saying that your relatives chose to pass on, so please don't think that is what I am saying. But free will is what happened on Sept 11, and in Oklahoma City, and all other times that terrorism has hit us and other tragedys.

My grandpa had Parkinson's disease, had a massive stroke, while my grandma was away with my parents b/n Christmas and New Years of 1999. And he died the day before our Family Christmas of 2000. He survived almost 11 mos. We never got to say goodbye either. But I don't blame God, my grandpa was a devout Christian, and he ended up where he wanted to be. It didn't make my family turn away from God, it turned us to him and each other. Our Pastor stated at church, that "This family will be ok, they will pull together and support one another." I always think of that, I think that is an awesome compliment.
My beloved greyhound that is my heart dog, and dog of a lifetime, crossed to the bridge on Sept 13, 2001. 2 days after Sept 11. I was devasted, I felt like I couldn't function or go on without her.. But what got me thru was knowing that God took her home to be with all those people that died on Sept 11. She was there with them so the children could play with her since they didn't have their doggies anymore. Not that I didn't need her, but there were many more that needed her more than I did.
Since I am confessing to you, I will also confess this story too:
My faith got shaken deeply about a year and half ago. A friend at work who had had a miscarriage, was pregnant again. She and her husband did everything right, ultrasounds, prenatal care, etc. Then she went into labor 3 mos early and had the baby, the doctors decided to life flight the baby to a Children's hospital, by the time her parents got there the baby was the baby was gone. They had a funeral for her, and from what people told me, I couldn't go, is it was the tiniest casket they had ever seen. She was only about 5 lbs. And the sobs from the father carrying the casket, made everyone break out into goosebumps and cry themselves.
During that time at work, we had
- a nurse's aid's son got hit by a hit and run driver on his scooter, hit him so hard it knocked him out of his shoes
- another nurse's sister was found dead mysteriously, they think her husband had something to do with it
- a doctor's son committed suicide
We felt we had a black cloud over us. I even made the comment to someone that "my faith in God,is shaken". And someone told me, it should make it stronger, and I went to church and it did. I am not a good churchgoer, much to my mother's dismay, so I am not going to even go there with you, I can't suggest to you something I don't do myself.

I do hope you listen to Tonya and others with an open mind. I am not saying you will have been reborn or anything. I just hope you realize that our God IS A LOVING GOD. And an awesome God.
Good day!

My friends that lost the baby, had another baby girl, 3 mos early, I asked for prayer for her in March I believe, and she is doing beautifully. I saw her yesterday and she is a happy 7 mos old that is absolutley adorable!!!


(I will be gone for a week, so don't be offended if I don't respond!)