"I know I'm a big, scary, Black man..."

[Pam]

What I find interesting is most people seem more worried about hurting someone's feelings rather than staying safe. Maybe it's because I'm from a smaller town where we don't have much pan handling going on but we do have cases of people disappearing only to end up dead in a field or river somewhere. To me there is not even a question in my mind what I would do.

Guess it's all perspective.

MOFF I agree with you completely. I love Court-TV and Forensic Files in particular. I think it is fascinating how sophisticated the methods have become to catch a killer but that's beside the point. So many people have met tragic ends by being nice to strangers. We can all still help by notifying the police or in some other way. Some of the most horrific killers looked like nice guys and were very polite.

[Miss Z]

To me, he sounded a con artist, definitely. It's sad, but the world is full of them. I believe you did the right thing by driving away, it was the safest thing to do.

[TamanduaGirl]

I was actually expecting this post was going to be by someone who considered themselves a big scary black man, lol, would have been interesting. Not that it isn't but I've nothing new to add.

[joycenalex]

I've met him.....twice. ....

the same type of scam has been run here in columbus at me, too. don't open a door/window, stay safe. his feelings will recover, there are other people out there to scam.

[Daisy and Delilah]

I am also pretty intrigued by the responses in this thread.

I live in an area of the country that is dominated by tourist trade. With that, comes a very high crime rate. We're warned frequently, by the media, about local operational scam networks. We have con artists and panhandlers all over the place. Most of us are afraid to unlock our car doors, no matter where we go, much less, open our windows to a stranger.

I think it's all about location and fear. I would love to help anybody that needs help but, around here, we must be aware of what might happen and act accordingly.

Lobodeb: In your case, if the man appeared to be legit, I would have taken his comment as an icebreaker too. I would think of him as a person that didn't know any other way to communicate, possibly.

However, I also feel that he could have used other means to solve his problem rather than walking up to a woman's car like he did.

[Twisterdog]

Twisterdog, what is a flame?

Sometimes when you post a strong opinion, that may not be the popular opinion voiced in a thread, lot of people respond negatively to it. "Flame" is just an internet term for getting criticized, perhaps rather harshly, for your opinion. It honestly doesn't happen much here, this is a pretty nice board.

[finn's mom]

Wow. The comments on this are fascinating. I don't think I would have rolled my window down in the first place. But, if I had, I don't think I would have taken his comment as a practiced line or as an insult. I've actually had men say that to me...not just black men, but, large guys in general. I had a situation where a big tattooed, leather jacket wearing scruffy guy came up and asked me to dance at a place I was at with my parents. He said almost the same thing "I know I'm a big scary tattooed guy, but, I just want to dance." I thought it was funny...and, in a situation such as the one being discussed in this thread, had I already rolled my window down, I probably would have smiled at the "big, scary, black man". But, again, I live in Dallas, I wouldn't have rolled my window down in the first place. For anyone. And, honestly, I have driven my car with the low fuel light already blinking, knowing that if I ran out of gas before getting to work, I would have been in trouble, because I had zero money. I don't know what I would have done if I'd run out of gas, but, I don't think I could have gone up to people's cars like that...

[cassiesmom]

Sometimes when you post a strong opinion, that may not be the popular opinion voiced in a thread, lot of people respond negatively to it. "Flame" is just an internet term for getting criticized, perhaps rather harshly, for your opinion. It honestly doesn't happen much here, this is a pretty nice board.

Okay, got it, thank you!

[moosmom]

He had a cell phone. He could have called a buddy or the auto club or something or even a policeman would have helped him

That was my first reaction. I also don't open my window to ANYONE, regardless of their race, creed or nationality. WAY to many weirdos out there.

[sirrahved]

I assume anyone who DOES start a conversation like that IS a psychomurderer!

[trayi52]

I agree with Twisterdog. However, I have went and bought food and gave to the homeless, just as my daughter and her husband have done. I don't do it unless my husband is in the car with me though. I would be afraid to stop for any reason if I was alone.

I do think you done the right thing.

Willie

[cyber-sibes]

Lobodeb, I would probably have driven off too. If the guy had a cell phone, why the heck was he approaching you, especially if he thought you might be afraid of him? AAA brings a gallon of gas to you if you run out - did he think somehow you were going to do more than that? Like give him a ride? NOT.

I got approached at a rest stop on the highway once by an older man who seemed very sweet and had a long story about having car trouble on his way to his son's wedding out of town. He wanted whatever money I could "spare". I went inside the rest room and called my husband - I was going to give this guy like $45 or $50...my husband flipped out & said no way - it's a con! I felt pretty stupid, but at least I didn't give him any money. He saw a woman traveling alone & figured I would be easy prey, I guess.

[Pam]

I got approached at a rest stop on the highway once by an older man who seemed very sweet and had a long story about having car trouble on his way to his son's wedding out of town.

Oh my gosh that whole scenario would have scared the cr@p out of me!! Your last statement about *being easy prey* was scary in more ways than one. Good girl for going inside and calling your hubby!

[sheltiemama]

Ok lets see if I have this right? You didn't help him because he gave you the impression that he wanted more than just a few bucks for gas?

Hey ladies, there are real dangers out there in the world. We hear about them all the time. The thought "it won't happen to me" is very dangerous for all of us. DON'T stop for anyone if you are alone in your car. Keep your car doors locked at all times and never stop (even for a flashing light behind you) if you are in a low lighted deserted area. Call 911 and tell the dispatcher that you have a police officer behind you and that you are going to go to a lighted parking lot before you stop. You won't get into trouble for it and you will protect yourself if this flashing light is not a cop. This is the age of cell phones. If someone legitimately needs help offer to call the cops for him... Call a wrecker, Call someone just don't put yourself in jeopardy in the process..

Judy

[Sophist]

Sounds very scammy, and sorry, folks, but it does strike me as a line practiced to throw people off kilter and make them feel like they have something to prove. I worked at a gas station right off of a freeway during highschool, and we saw stuff like this a lot. Black peddlars/scammers relied heavily on the race card. Some that come to mind were "Don't be scared. I am black, not wanted. Sometimes there is a difference." and "You know, a black man really can't catch a break in a white Cali town." The second one was pretty funny, because whites made up less than 10% of the population of the town, and it still worked on people.

Then again, white men also used similar lines just for size or gender, even young white women came up with something self-deprecating that put you in the defensive, where people felt like they had to PROVE to this person they weren't closeminded, judgemental, and prejudiced. Nearly all of these people were angling for gas money, but very few spent it on that. One gentleman would get gas money, set the pump, put the nozzle in his car but wouldn't start it, and then profusely thank the giver until they finally drove off. Then he would come back inside for us to cancel the gas money, pocket the gas, and head back outside.

I also have to echo a sentiment already found throughout this thread: Don't roll your window down for anybody!