(originaly seen in email as the purina diet)

Woman in line behind me askes if I'm buying that big bag of food for a dog?

told her that no, I'm starting The Iams Diet. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Iams nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again again although I probably shouldn't -- I had ended up in the hospital last time, but I lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with the story, particularly a big tall guy who was behind the woman.

Horrified, she asked why I ended up in the hospital -- had the Purina made me sick? I told her no; I'd been sitting in the middle of the street licking my self and a car hit me.