Major Worries! IT's EVEN WORSE!!!

[borzoimom]

That will work- then just do it.. lol. Go into " autopilot".. You are in my prayers, and I just wish I could help..

[lvpets2002]

Oh Kim such heartaches now & I am so saddened for you.. Just Love & Hang on to that Jenna.. We & I are all here for you.. PM me anytime for anything.. You Are Always in My Prayers.. (((( HUGGSS ))))

That's right, I think that he could not get her for at least now. His court date is also in January. There are so many different dates and issues to keep up with, I don't know if I'm coming or going. I'm basically just waiting for SOMEONE to tell me what to do when.

[cyber-sibes]

I don't envy you, what a hard decision to make. I went to a carry-in on sunday and spent the last half hour talking to a young woman (20-something) about how she has spent the past 3 Christmases in jail because of arrests related to her drugs and alcohol use. THREE Christmases! This will be her first sober Christmas. I don't know if this suggestion would help, but she said that the last time, she went from jail directly into a half-way house for women addicts, she realized that she simply couldn't keep clean on her own. She is now coming up on 1 year of sobriety/clean time.
You know that you will have support here on PT whatever decision you make. Thank God you are there for Jenna.

[kimlovescats]

The Domestic Violence office called today to remind Amy Beth that she has a court date for this Thursday. I don't even know if she knows about it. So, I called the jail and they showed only one court date for her, and it is for TOMORROW for her preliminary hearing for HER two charges. There have been so many court dates thrown around between Chad, both of them, and now just for HER that I don't know what is going on when ... or what I should or shouldn't go to. PLUS, I have NO ONE who can watch Jenna for me to go and I can't take her with me! The judges get very angry when small children show up in court, and I totally understand the reasons why! I am torn between bailing her out to be sure she makes all of her court appearances and so I can go to, or saying I don't care anymore and just staying out of all of it. I am so stressed right now, I am seriously about to have a break down. All I want to do is lie in my bed and bawl my eyes out and I can't even do that because Jenna is with me 24/7. God, I wish I could just go away somewhere and get away from all of this.

[Craftlady]

I'm betting the courts are aware she is in jail. She will be taken to the court appearance or her lawyer will appear and let them know where she is at the moment. So for this aspect you dont have to stress yourself out.

[borzoimom]

Man- I am at a loss for words. She should have a county public defender. I am sure they can work out the court dates and all. You can not be her lawyer- thats thier job. YOu can not do anymore tonight anyway.
As far as you- you need a night off. Turn off the tv, bag the phone, make some hot chocolate, ... I wish I had the answers honey, but I do not. But I do know you need to take care of yourself.

[Vermontcat]

Kim, I am so sorry to hear how badly things have been going for you.
I have been so busy with work lately that I barely have time to even peek in on Pet Talk.
The most important thing is for you to be there for little Jenna.
She needs you and some stability in her life right now.
Can your husband or younger daughter help you out with Jenna at least for an hour or two to give you a break?
Are they able to care for her if you do go to the court dates or do their work and school schedules conflict with the court date times?
Are there other trusted friends or relatives that could help out with her?
If you really want to get away, you and Jenna can come up here to Vermont.

Sending lots of hugs your way, it sounds like you really need them right now.
Samantha sends purrs and headbumps your way too.

[cassiesmom]

Originally Posted by kimlovescats
Because Amy Beth is an adult, I doubt that I could "order" anything for her myself. However, the DCS case worker told us that Amy Beth would be ordered to go through a drug program as well as a parenting class when she is released. All of this will be monitored closely by DCS and she will not get Jenna back until they are satisfied with her efforts and progress.

Also, she was telling me how awful it was listening to other inmates being sick all night due to detoxing. I feel like if she was having to detox, I would have known it by now. She was drug-tested when she was brought in and PASSED the test.

She's been there long enough now that if she were going to get the message, it should have happened. Post her bond and bring her home. [[[hugs]]]

[rg_girlca]

Kim, how I wish I had the words that would help you, but unfortunately I don't. I can't even imagine what this must be like for you and my heart breaks for you. Is it the right thing not to post bond for her? I don't know.
Is it the right thing to post bond for her? I don't know that either. All I know is what you had mentioned in one of your posts that has me very, very concerned for Jenna.

QUOTED BY KIMLOVESCATS
There was also no food in the cabinets and the small bit of milk was out of date. I just gave her over $200.00 of her own money this past Friday to buy groceries for the next two weeks, and she hadn't bought anything! I can only assume that she is buying drugs instead of food for her baby.

I don't doubt that Amy Beth loves Jenna, but for her to put the welfare of Jenna in harms way, I'm sorry, but I find it very hard to comprehend. She HAS to get her priorities straightened out and her first priority is Jenna and nothing but Jenna.
I just pray that this has finally made Amy Beth see that.
She desperately needs help and I pray that she will allow herself to get it.

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} continue for you Kim and prayers for your family.
I know this is easier said than done, but please try and stay strong for your own sanity and for the sake of sweet Jenna. Lean on us for strength Kim.
This tough time WILL end. Just know in your heart that you don't need to go it alone. We will always be here for you.

[joycenalex]

this is always hard to tell. i'm the oldest kid in my family, my first brother is 3 years younger then me. in his late teens, he got into drugs, then breaking and entering to get money for drugs. he stole from my mom (her mothers rings went so he could get more drugs), he stole from my neighbors, he tried to shake me down for drug money. he was a stupid criminal. he went to county jail time and again, mom kept posting his bail, he kept doing the same thing over and over, and it got worse, finally. he has been in the state prison system for the last 15 years. every christmas, mom cries. he's never coming out of prison, he never learned to take responsibility.
not everyone is like my brother, i know. it hurts me so much to see my mom cry every christmas, yet, if he had not been 'rescued' time and again, maybe it would have been different for him and her. be strong kim, it's not easy, but jenna comes first. (hugs)

[jackmilliesmom]

Ok Kim I have posted before and said that you need to be strong and take a stand well you have so far. You now need to take a stand for your own health and sanity and put your foot up your husbands nether regions and your younger daughter's nether regions also.

I understand that they may be disappointed by Amy Beth and that things have not been great but you are not their disappointment Amy Beth is and Jenna is an innocent in all of this. You need a break from her though so they must now put their selfishness aside and take her from you even for a half an hour so you can even have a cup of coffee in peace or just close your eyes for while or take a walk. They need to pull their socks up and get themselves moving and into gear to help you and Jenna now.

I must sound horrible but things have to be done and you are just one person. As for Amy Beth's Court Date get the County Defender or whatever to explain to the Court the situation and tell them that at the moment you are not prepared to bail Amy Beth out until she asks for help. I know she tested clean but she still had the drugs in her apartment and left a curious 2 year old on her own - you found Jenna happy and healthy but it could have been a different scenario and you could have found a limp lifeless body then AMy Beth would have to deal with being charged for manslaughter or worse - just think about it and then decide if you want to bail her out or not - I will support you no matter what you decision is but just sit and think about it first before you do anything rash....

[Karen]

God, I wish I could just go away somewhere and get away from all of this.

Time to call your pastor, if you have one. I am sure he might know someone who could take Jenna for a few hours on Thursday- some churches even have "Grandparents parenting support groups" or even "Mommy's Day Out" opportunities. You need to take some time for just you, as precious and important as Jenna is, you need time to retain your own sanity and energy.

Sadly, my only relations in Tennessee are over 3 hours away (I Googled it), so I have no body on the ground there to offer you, but reach out, sweetie, okay?

[Pembroke_Corgi]

I'm so sorry to hear about this, I really am. I wish that I could offer some good advice and help in some way. However, please know that you are in my thoughts and you have everyone here praying and hoping for you.

[BitsyNaceyDog]

Karen offered some great advise. If you have one a church family is a wonderful place to look for help and support. Does your other daughter (please forgive me, I can't remember her name) have a friend that may be able to babysit for a few hours?

How far are you from Chattanooga? My sister-in-law goes to a private college there (Tennessee Temple). She's here in Florida right now for the holidays, but she may be able to help you some after she returns to Tennessee.

[cassiesmom]

Kim, how are you all doing today?