Major Worries! IT's EVEN WORSE!!!

[kimlovescats]

The Domestic Violence office called today to remind Amy Beth that she has a court date for this Thursday. I don't even know if she knows about it. So, I called the jail and they showed only one court date for her, and it is for TOMORROW for her preliminary hearing for HER two charges. There have been so many court dates thrown around between Chad, both of them, and now just for HER that I don't know what is going on when ... or what I should or shouldn't go to. PLUS, I have NO ONE who can watch Jenna for me to go and I can't take her with me! The judges get very angry when small children show up in court, and I totally understand the reasons why! I am torn between bailing her out to be sure she makes all of her court appearances and so I can go to, or saying I don't care anymore and just staying out of all of it. I am so stressed right now, I am seriously about to have a break down. All I want to do is lie in my bed and bawl my eyes out and I can't even do that because Jenna is with me 24/7. God, I wish I could just go away somewhere and get away from all of this.

[Craftlady]

I'm betting the courts are aware she is in jail. She will be taken to the court appearance or her lawyer will appear and let them know where she is at the moment. So for this aspect you dont have to stress yourself out.

[borzoimom]

Man- I am at a loss for words. She should have a county public defender. I am sure they can work out the court dates and all. You can not be her lawyer- thats thier job. YOu can not do anymore tonight anyway.
As far as you- you need a night off. Turn off the tv, bag the phone, make some hot chocolate, ... I wish I had the answers honey, but I do not. But I do know you need to take care of yourself.

[Vermontcat]

Kim, I am so sorry to hear how badly things have been going for you.
I have been so busy with work lately that I barely have time to even peek in on Pet Talk.
The most important thing is for you to be there for little Jenna.
She needs you and some stability in her life right now.
Can your husband or younger daughter help you out with Jenna at least for an hour or two to give you a break?
Are they able to care for her if you do go to the court dates or do their work and school schedules conflict with the court date times?
Are there other trusted friends or relatives that could help out with her?
If you really want to get away, you and Jenna can come up here to Vermont.

Sending lots of hugs your way, it sounds like you really need them right now.
Samantha sends purrs and headbumps your way too.

[Karen]

God, I wish I could just go away somewhere and get away from all of this.

Time to call your pastor, if you have one. I am sure he might know someone who could take Jenna for a few hours on Thursday- some churches even have "Grandparents parenting support groups" or even "Mommy's Day Out" opportunities. You need to take some time for just you, as precious and important as Jenna is, you need time to retain your own sanity and energy.

Sadly, my only relations in Tennessee are over 3 hours away (I Googled it), so I have no body on the ground there to offer you, but reach out, sweetie, okay?

[Pembroke_Corgi]

I'm so sorry to hear about this, I really am. I wish that I could offer some good advice and help in some way. However, please know that you are in my thoughts and you have everyone here praying and hoping for you.

[BitsyNaceyDog]

Karen offered some great advise. If you have one a church family is a wonderful place to look for help and support. Does your other daughter (please forgive me, I can't remember her name) have a friend that may be able to babysit for a few hours?

How far are you from Chattanooga? My sister-in-law goes to a private college there (Tennessee Temple). She's here in Florida right now for the holidays, but she may be able to help you some after she returns to Tennessee.

[cassiesmom]

Kim, how are you all doing today?

[Logan]

I wanted you to know I am thinking of you, Kim. I know this is a horrible time for you. Be strong for Jenna and please, please, please take care of yourself, too.

We love you and hate to see you in the midst of such turmoil as a mother and a grandmother. It is going to get better. It has to!

Logan

[Catty1]

Kim - how are your other daughter and husband reacting to this? What are they doing?

Is is possible that your being so upset, which you have a right to be - are you pushing them out without meaning to because you are so caught up on "how" to fix this?

If you are someone who always has trouble reaching out to others, this is the time to stop. Maybe your husband and daughter learned long ago that whatever they did, it wasn't good enough - so they don't try any more.

I am not bashing you, hon - but I saw this happen in my family, and others. And it really hurts more at times like this.

{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}

[kimlovescats]

I saw my daughter in court this morning. It was extremely hard seeing her in handcuffs off in a seat in front of the entire courtroom. Chad had an attorney who asked the judge to drop the protective order from him in regards to Jenna. The lawyer had Amy Beth sign to agree to this. Before I even got home, Chad and 2 police officers were at my door and took Jenna from my husband. There is nothing I can do about it at this point. He is a "free" man and she is his daughter ... since Amy Beth agreed / signed to drop the protective order regarding Jenna, then he has every right to her. Right now I am just so exhausted that I am numb.

I bawled my eyes out nearly the whole time I was in the courtroom ... it was very hard sitting there all alone. Several other women in the courtroom came over and hugged me and gave me tissues. After court, I ran in to Chad and his mother in the elevator. She hugged me and I didn't even speak, I just broke down in her arms. The elevator door opened and I got out. I looked into getting an attorney to file for custody of Jenna, but the only who could / would talk to me today wanted $6500.00 up front! We don't even have 1/3 of that! Right now I am just not going to pursue custody. I know that Chad's mother will be the one actually caring for Jenna while she is in "his" custody. Chad even told my husband that he doesn't want full custody of Jenna. He also claimed that he had been staying at Amy Beth's apartment with her some during all of this. I don't know who to believe anymore and I am fed up with the whole thing. I know that between myself and his mom, Jenna will always be cared for and protected as much as possible. The court date is set for January 2nd to determine the outcome of her charges.

For those speaking of my husband ... you have the wrong impression! Jerry could not be a more supportive or loving husband to me. If anything he is too tender-hearted almost to a fault. He loves me and my girls and would do absolutely anything I asked him to do. My younger daughter (Amanda) is tired of having her time with me messed up and pre-occupied with Amy Beth, Jenna and their problems. I know exactly how she feels ... I lived the same scenario with my older brother and sister.

[borzoimom]

I was afraid this would happen. Without her staying with a protective order, with him the father, he is entitled. I have no idea what to do.. None..
I feel for you so much. I wish there was something I could do.

[Catty1]

I am glad you have Jerry's support....I hadn't heard much about him, and am glad to hear this.

As I said in my post, I was not trying to bash you - I just didn't know what he was or wasn't doing!

It almost sounds like you and Chad's mom might have some sort of alliance...your kids are both in trouble. She has been in pain too.

Maybe you can arrange visits meanwhile?

I know you can't see which way is up right now, Kim - but I hope you have some quiet time right now.

I guess Amy Beth signed over custody because there was legally no one else she could sign over to at that moment...and she certainly wouldn't get Jenna back right now.

PRAYERS and HUGS.

[cassiesmom]

more [[[hugs]]]
Dear God, please bless Kim and her family this afternoon ... please help them to feel your presence at this holy time of the year. Please give them physical health and strength. Please be with Jenna and her parents and all those who love her. God, I know that what is impossible with people is possible with you, so I would just ask that your peace would be with Kim and her family right now. Thank you, God, Amen.