Major Worries! IT's EVEN WORSE!!!

[shais_mom]

Thank you 4dogmother and Kblaix for the honesty and varying opinions. This is NOT an easy decision to make and even though I am her mother and "should" know her better than anyone, I am not sure that I DO! She has done so many things behind my back and totally ignored my advice so many times that I just don't know. However, I can say this for her ... if I ask her about things, she generally tells me the truth ... if she truly thinks I know, and even some times when I didn't, she always feels the need to come clean with me. Yet at the same time, I know how my deceased brother used to lie and manipulate to all of us ... and he WAS an addict and it ultimately caused his death.

To answer Kay's question: no I do not actually have CUSTODY of Jenna right now. If at any time Chad requested it, he could come and pick her up from me and I could do nothing about it! It could be today, tomorrow, any time. I am just temporary SHELTER for Jenna right now.

what about the restraining order? is that null if she's in Jail? is Jenna not included on it?

[kimlovescats]

what about the restraining order? is that null if she's in Jail? is Jenna no included on it?

That's right, I think that he could not get her for at least now. His court date is also in January. There are so many different dates and issues to keep up with, I don't know if I'm coming or going. I'm basically just waiting for SOMEONE to tell me what to do when.

[borzoimom]

That will work- then just do it.. lol. Go into " autopilot".. You are in my prayers, and I just wish I could help..

[lvpets2002]

Oh Kim such heartaches now & I am so saddened for you.. Just Love & Hang on to that Jenna.. We & I are all here for you.. PM me anytime for anything.. You Are Always in My Prayers.. (((( HUGGSS ))))

That's right, I think that he could not get her for at least now. His court date is also in January. There are so many different dates and issues to keep up with, I don't know if I'm coming or going. I'm basically just waiting for SOMEONE to tell me what to do when.

[cyber-sibes]

I don't envy you, what a hard decision to make. I went to a carry-in on sunday and spent the last half hour talking to a young woman (20-something) about how she has spent the past 3 Christmases in jail because of arrests related to her drugs and alcohol use. THREE Christmases! This will be her first sober Christmas. I don't know if this suggestion would help, but she said that the last time, she went from jail directly into a half-way house for women addicts, she realized that she simply couldn't keep clean on her own. She is now coming up on 1 year of sobriety/clean time.
You know that you will have support here on PT whatever decision you make. Thank God you are there for Jenna.

[kimlovescats]

The Domestic Violence office called today to remind Amy Beth that she has a court date for this Thursday. I don't even know if she knows about it. So, I called the jail and they showed only one court date for her, and it is for TOMORROW for her preliminary hearing for HER two charges. There have been so many court dates thrown around between Chad, both of them, and now just for HER that I don't know what is going on when ... or what I should or shouldn't go to. PLUS, I have NO ONE who can watch Jenna for me to go and I can't take her with me! The judges get very angry when small children show up in court, and I totally understand the reasons why! I am torn between bailing her out to be sure she makes all of her court appearances and so I can go to, or saying I don't care anymore and just staying out of all of it. I am so stressed right now, I am seriously about to have a break down. All I want to do is lie in my bed and bawl my eyes out and I can't even do that because Jenna is with me 24/7. God, I wish I could just go away somewhere and get away from all of this.

[Craftlady]

I'm betting the courts are aware she is in jail. She will be taken to the court appearance or her lawyer will appear and let them know where she is at the moment. So for this aspect you dont have to stress yourself out.

[borzoimom]

Man- I am at a loss for words. She should have a county public defender. I am sure they can work out the court dates and all. You can not be her lawyer- thats thier job. YOu can not do anymore tonight anyway.
As far as you- you need a night off. Turn off the tv, bag the phone, make some hot chocolate, ... I wish I had the answers honey, but I do not. But I do know you need to take care of yourself.

[Vermontcat]

Kim, I am so sorry to hear how badly things have been going for you.
I have been so busy with work lately that I barely have time to even peek in on Pet Talk.
The most important thing is for you to be there for little Jenna.
She needs you and some stability in her life right now.
Can your husband or younger daughter help you out with Jenna at least for an hour or two to give you a break?
Are they able to care for her if you do go to the court dates or do their work and school schedules conflict with the court date times?
Are there other trusted friends or relatives that could help out with her?
If you really want to get away, you and Jenna can come up here to Vermont.

Sending lots of hugs your way, it sounds like you really need them right now.
Samantha sends purrs and headbumps your way too.

[Karen]

God, I wish I could just go away somewhere and get away from all of this.

Time to call your pastor, if you have one. I am sure he might know someone who could take Jenna for a few hours on Thursday- some churches even have "Grandparents parenting support groups" or even "Mommy's Day Out" opportunities. You need to take some time for just you, as precious and important as Jenna is, you need time to retain your own sanity and energy.

Sadly, my only relations in Tennessee are over 3 hours away (I Googled it), so I have no body on the ground there to offer you, but reach out, sweetie, okay?

[Pembroke_Corgi]

I'm so sorry to hear about this, I really am. I wish that I could offer some good advice and help in some way. However, please know that you are in my thoughts and you have everyone here praying and hoping for you.