Major Worries! IT's EVEN WORSE!!!

**BitsyNaceyDog** · 12-19-2006, 10:18 AM

I've been following this thread every inch of the way. I'm not too good with words though so I haven't said anything. I do want to let you know, Kim, that you, Jenna, Amy Beth, and your whole family are in my prayers.

While most everyone has suggested letting Amy Beth sit in jail for Christmas is for the best I'm going to disagree. I think the best Christmas present for Jenna would be to spend the day with her mother. This must be such a hard time for Jenna and I'm sure she misses her mom. (Kim, you will still have custody of Jenna if Amy Beth is bailed out, right?) I want to add that I can't even begin to know how difficult this decision is to make, and I know whatever you decide, Kim, will be for the best.

**kimlovescats** · 12-19-2006, 11:34 AM

Thank you 4dogmother and Kblaix for the honesty and varying opinions. This is NOT an easy decision to make and even though I am her mother and "should" know her better than anyone, I am not sure that I DO!

She has done so many things behind my back and totally ignored my advice so many times that I just don't know. However, I can say this for her ... if I ask her about things, she generally tells me the truth ... if she truly thinks I know, and even some times when I didn't, she always feels the need to come clean with me. Yet at the same time, I know how my deceased brother used to lie and manipulate to all of us ... and he WAS an addict and it ultimately caused his death.

To answer Kay's question: no I do not actually have CUSTODY of Jenna right now. If at any time Chad requested it, he could come and pick her up from me and I could do nothing about it! It could be today, tomorrow, any time. I am just temporary SHELTER for Jenna right now.

**shais_mom** · 12-19-2006, 11:36 AM

Originally Posted by kimlovescats

Thank you 4dogmother and Kblaix for the honesty and varying opinions. This is NOT an easy decision to make and even though I am her mother and "should" know her better than anyone, I am not sure that I DO!

She has done so many things behind my back and totally ignored my advice so many times that I just don't know. However, I can say this for her ... if I ask her about things, she generally tells me the truth ... if she truly thinks I know, and even some times when I didn't, she always feels the need to come clean with me. Yet at the same time, I know how my deceased brother used to lie and manipulate to all of us ... and he WAS an addict and it ultimately caused his death.

To answer Kay's question: no I do not actually have CUSTODY of Jenna right now. If at any time Chad requested it, he could come and pick her up from me and I could do nothing about it! It could be today, tomorrow, any time. I am just temporary SHELTER for Jenna right now.

what about the restraining order? is that null if she's in Jail? is Jenna not included on it?

**kimlovescats** · 12-19-2006, 12:20 PM

Originally Posted by shais_mom

what about the restraining order? is that null if she's in Jail? is Jenna no included on it?

That's right, I think that he could not get her for at least now. His court date is also in January. There are so many different dates and issues to keep up with, I don't know if I'm coming or going. I'm basically just waiting for SOMEONE to tell me what to do when.

**borzoimom** · 12-19-2006, 12:29 PM

That will work- then just do it.. lol. Go into " autopilot".. You are in my prayers, and I just wish I could help..

**lvpets2002** · 12-19-2006, 01:16 PM

Oh Kim such heartaches now & I am so saddened for you.. Just Love & Hang on to that Jenna.. We & I are all here for you.. PM me anytime for anything.. You Are Always in My Prayers.. (((( HUGGSS ))))

Originally Posted by kimlovescats

That's right, I think that he could not get her for at least now. His court date is also in January. There are so many different dates and issues to keep up with, I don't know if I'm coming or going. I'm basically just waiting for SOMEONE to tell me what to do when.

**cyber-sibes** · 12-19-2006, 05:33 PM

I don't envy you, what a hard decision to make. I went to a carry-in on sunday and spent the last half hour talking to a young woman (20-something) about how she has spent the past 3 Christmases in jail because of arrests related to her drugs and alcohol use. THREE Christmases!

This will be her first sober Christmas. I don't know if this suggestion would help, but she said that the last time, she went from jail directly into a half-way house for women addicts, she realized that she simply couldn't keep clean on her own. She is now coming up on 1 year of sobriety/clean time.
You know that you will have support here on PT whatever decision you make. Thank God you are there for Jenna.

**kimlovescats** · 12-19-2006, 06:19 PM

The Domestic Violence office called today to remind Amy Beth that she has a court date for this Thursday. I don't even know if she knows about it. So, I called the jail and they showed only one court date for her, and it is for TOMORROW for her preliminary hearing for HER two charges. There have been so many court dates thrown around between Chad, both of them, and now just for HER that I don't know what is going on when ... or what I should or shouldn't go to. PLUS, I have NO ONE who can watch Jenna for me to go and I can't take her with me! The judges get very angry when small children show up in court, and I totally understand the reasons why! I am torn between bailing her out to be sure she makes all of her court appearances and so I can go to, or saying I don't care anymore and just staying out of all of it. I am so stressed right now, I am seriously about to have a break down. All I want to do is lie in my bed and bawl my eyes out and I can't even do that because Jenna is with me 24/7. God, I wish I could just go away somewhere and get away from all of this.