Major Worries! IT's EVEN WORSE!!!

[catfamily]

Catty 1 ...That's great info

[kuhio98]

Kim ~ Your whole family is in my thoughts and prayers. I urge you to stay strong. Tough love may be just what she needs. She needs to know that she is responsible for her actions. Yes, she may think she's learned that lesson, but if you bail her out, she may always think in the back of her mind that you'll always be there to clean up her messes. Please stay strong. This very, very, very hard lesson may keep her from making countless mistakes in the future.

Please don't bail her out to make yourself feel better about the whole thing. We all want to be there for our kids. But, you are being there for her. In a different way. In my humble opinion, the biggest, kindest gift you could ever give her, is this time in jail to reflect on where she is. Where she's been. And where she's going. Stay strong!

[kimlovescats]

Because Amy Beth is an adult, I doubt that I could "order" anything for her myself. However, the DCS case worker told us that Amy Beth would be ordered to go through a drug program as well as a parenting class when she is released. All of this will be monitored closely by DCS and she will not get Jenna back until they are satisfied with her efforts and progress.

[kimlovescats]

Because Amy Beth is an adult, I doubt that I could "order" anything for her myself. However, the DCS case worker told us that Amy Beth would be ordered to go through a drug program as well as a parenting class when she is released. All of this will be monitored closely by DCS and she will not get Jenna back until they are satisfied with her efforts and progress.

Also, she was telling me how awful it was listening to other inmates being sick all night due to detoxing. I feel like if she was having to detox, I would have known it by now. She was drug-tested when she was brought in and PASSED the test.

[borzoimom]

Also, she was telling me how awful it was listening to other inmates being sick all night due to detoxing. I feel like if she was having to detox, I would have known it by now. She was drug-tested when she was brought in and PASSED the test.

I am glad she passed the test. But also witnessing what these drugs do to you by observing other people might actually help her bring the message home to herself to do something to change her life- this time for real and to stay..

[cassiesmom]

Originally Posted by kimlovescats
Because Amy Beth is an adult, I doubt that I could "order" anything for her myself. However, the DCS case worker told us that Amy Beth would be ordered to go through a drug program as well as a parenting class when she is released. All of this will be monitored closely by DCS and she will not get Jenna back until they are satisfied with her efforts and progress.

Also, she was telling me how awful it was listening to other inmates being sick all night due to detoxing. I feel like if she was having to detox, I would have known it by now. She was drug-tested when she was brought in and PASSED the test.

She's been there long enough now that if she were going to get the message, it should have happened. Post her bond and bring her home. [[[hugs]]]

[rg_girlca]

Kim, how I wish I had the words that would help you, but unfortunately I don't. I can't even imagine what this must be like for you and my heart breaks for you. Is it the right thing not to post bond for her? I don't know.
Is it the right thing to post bond for her? I don't know that either. All I know is what you had mentioned in one of your posts that has me very, very concerned for Jenna.

QUOTED BY KIMLOVESCATS
There was also no food in the cabinets and the small bit of milk was out of date. I just gave her over $200.00 of her own money this past Friday to buy groceries for the next two weeks, and she hadn't bought anything! I can only assume that she is buying drugs instead of food for her baby.

I don't doubt that Amy Beth loves Jenna, but for her to put the welfare of Jenna in harms way, I'm sorry, but I find it very hard to comprehend. She HAS to get her priorities straightened out and her first priority is Jenna and nothing but Jenna.
I just pray that this has finally made Amy Beth see that.
She desperately needs help and I pray that she will allow herself to get it.

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} continue for you Kim and prayers for your family.
I know this is easier said than done, but please try and stay strong for your own sanity and for the sake of sweet Jenna. Lean on us for strength Kim.
This tough time WILL end. Just know in your heart that you don't need to go it alone. We will always be here for you.

[joycenalex]

this is always hard to tell. i'm the oldest kid in my family, my first brother is 3 years younger then me. in his late teens, he got into drugs, then breaking and entering to get money for drugs. he stole from my mom (her mothers rings went so he could get more drugs), he stole from my neighbors, he tried to shake me down for drug money. he was a stupid criminal. he went to county jail time and again, mom kept posting his bail, he kept doing the same thing over and over, and it got worse, finally. he has been in the state prison system for the last 15 years. every christmas, mom cries. he's never coming out of prison, he never learned to take responsibility.
not everyone is like my brother, i know. it hurts me so much to see my mom cry every christmas, yet, if he had not been 'rescued' time and again, maybe it would have been different for him and her. be strong kim, it's not easy, but jenna comes first. (hugs)

[jackmilliesmom]

Ok Kim I have posted before and said that you need to be strong and take a stand well you have so far. You now need to take a stand for your own health and sanity and put your foot up your husbands nether regions and your younger daughter's nether regions also.

I understand that they may be disappointed by Amy Beth and that things have not been great but you are not their disappointment Amy Beth is and Jenna is an innocent in all of this. You need a break from her though so they must now put their selfishness aside and take her from you even for a half an hour so you can even have a cup of coffee in peace or just close your eyes for while or take a walk. They need to pull their socks up and get themselves moving and into gear to help you and Jenna now.

I must sound horrible but things have to be done and you are just one person. As for Amy Beth's Court Date get the County Defender or whatever to explain to the Court the situation and tell them that at the moment you are not prepared to bail Amy Beth out until she asks for help. I know she tested clean but she still had the drugs in her apartment and left a curious 2 year old on her own - you found Jenna happy and healthy but it could have been a different scenario and you could have found a limp lifeless body then AMy Beth would have to deal with being charged for manslaughter or worse - just think about it and then decide if you want to bail her out or not - I will support you no matter what you decision is but just sit and think about it first before you do anything rash....

[catnapper]

Oh Kim, you are being a good mom and grandmom. This is what she needs, even though she likely won't realize it for quite a while. Glad to hear she passed the drug test and isn't going through withdrawl; thats a positive sign that you got her before she went completely down the wrong path.

[Alysser]

I just read the whole thread and I'm so sorry to hear this is happening to you, especially around such a joyus time. You, Amy Beth, and little Jenna will definately be in my prayers. Go with your instincts and stick to them, they will lead you on the right path through this. ((Hugs))

[Pembroke_Corgi]

I'm so sorry to hear about the latest turn of events. Thank god you were there to get Jenna...despite everything she is lucky to have wonderful grandparents. I'll keep everyone in my thoughts.

[Lizzie]

Kim - Is it possible that if you did bail out Amy Beth, it would be seen in a negative way by DCS? Might they think that you are enabling her, or at least that you are not taking it as seriously as they would like to see. Surely your refusal to bail out your daughter will be viewed by them as a good reason to allow you to continue to foster Jenna. This might help Amy Beth understand why it is in Jenna's best interests for you to refuse to bail her out. At all costs, Jenna must stay with the family that she knows and loves.

What does your husband and other daughter think?

[Catty1]

If you bail her out...remember how mad you got at Chad's mom for doing the same thing.

She can bail HERSELF out by reaching out for help from AA or some form of recovery.

That's HER job. Put the ball in her court, where it belongs.

And PLEASE call Al-Anon!

START HERE, if you want: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

[kuhio98]

If you bail her out...remember how mad you got at Chad's mom for doing the same thing.

Good point! His mom thinks she is doing the right thing every time she bails him out. But, it's hurt him in the long run. He hasn't learned his lesson. And he keeps making bigger mistakes.