Don't yank back on her mouth and kick her as hard as you can, first off you are sending mixed signals, secondly you have a high potential to get very hurt. She obviously has behavior issues and your fear is compounding it, which is perfectly understandable, it can be VERY scary when they act like that.
No one on this board has observed the behavior so don't take advice of this kind of nature from someone else who isn't present to see what is gonig on. Not every horse can or will tolerate this and the use of spurs, without finding out what the underlying problem is, is NOT going to help. Someone is going to get hurt if you try any of that at this point, potentially both you and the horse.
You need a professional and their opinion, you need to have her back and legs and mouth evaluated by a vet, you need to have saddle fit evaluated, and you need to have yourself and the horse evaluated by a trainer and/or clinician, like you are doing this weekend. Until then I'd stay off the horse until you get the rest of it sorted out. Because you are afraid, it is only making it worse. She doesn't trust you and you don't trust her, it's a BAD combination. I don't want to see you hurt.
There is something wrong with this horse and if it's a training issue it needs to be handled by someone who can do so appropriately, as your fear isn't allowing you to do it. If it's physical, then punishing her by yanking on her, kicking, her, and using spurs is just not okay to do. I'm glad you are doing some reading and I hope you can work things out, but don't go on the offensive with her or she will trust you even less then things will quickly get worse.
Because you are afraid of her rearing when you ride her, you are setting her up to do it be even getting on, she knows it will get you off and she doesn't want to be ridden by you becuse she doesn't trust you. A fearful rider generates fear and a lack of trust in the horse. If you are afraid, in her mind why should she trust you to tell her where to go?? Confidence and a relaxed approach is the only way to win her trust and show her she can folllow you without fearing you will put her in harm's way. You have to think like a horse. Horses don't follow the fearful timid horses in the herd, they follow the boss, you aren't being the boss because you are afraid of her rearing.
This is going to take work on your part, and perhaps with a trainer. You have taught her rearing gets you off, even if you didn't do it on purpose. Putting her away tacked up and not fed isn't going to stop it, she's not a kid in time out, she is an animal. You are going to have to really committ to starting over with this horse from the ground up to gain her trust, only then will she listen to you under saddle, there are no quick fixes now, so you'll have to decide if you are willing to put in the time to fix it.
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