Am I too hard on him?

[catnapper]

Thanks - I'd like to think it was the drugs and that he's off them, but his myspace likes still list "chilling and mary-j"

But MAYBE he's doing them a whole lot less. You can't be a complete partier when you have a real job. *shrug*

[borzoimom]

That is very true. Just use the job as a barameter if he is clean. Thats a good point.
Websites are misleading sometimes. He would want people to still think he is cool or something. The problem is- as they told my brother, you have to disassociate yourself that reminds you in anyway of that other life. He has to come to that decission, and all you really care about is how good a father he is. I could say a ton of stuff about my ex, but all of it doesnt matter anymore. What I will say that is a good and I believe it, was he is an excellent father. All the other garbage aside how I feel- he was and is.. And my daughter knows this is how I feel. I dropped any other subject to her. She knows what happened but he is still her father. And he does love her and vice versa..

[BOBS DAD]

I have a few thoughts on this subject from a man's (and father of teenage daughters) perspective...

I would be very wary. My sister married two bums (very young and immature men) to whom she has had 3 children. The first husband is now in jail in MI and the second is zoned out on a couch on morphine, dopamine or whatever "ine" he can get his hands on. Neither one assists her financially in the raising of their children. Both "tried" for a while to be decent fathers.

It is good that the bum is changing some and that he now holds down a steady job. But don't be too optimistic. And don't give him "too much" credit. I am sure that he wants a job cause he needs some money too!

I know they are young and that time has a way of making all of us grow up to some degree. He just needs to accelerate the pace. You(HE) is a "DAD" now, with all the responsibilities that go along with it. It is time to "give up" the MySpace and adolescent ways. Hope he continues along his current path and as you say, "grow up together" for the best interest of your daughter, his baby and himself!

[Rie Rie]

At least he's making an effort and hopefully he will continue to do well. The father of my daughters baby insisted on having a DNA test to prove to her that he was father becuase he wanted to be in his sons life because he never knew his father. Well, after all that, we've not seen nor heard from him since Christmas two years ago. As of Sept. 25, 2006, he is no longer his father, my daughters husband adopted him. He's been the only dad this child has known for almost three years now, he's been with my daughter since she was 3 months pregnant. Some young people just aren't ready to be parents and then some get lucky.

[moosmom]

I agree with Bob's Dad. Take the "wait and see" road. Maybe, just MAYBE he is trying. But like Bob's Dad said, "He just needs to accelerate the pace. You(HE) is a "DAD" now, with all the responsibilities that go along with it. It is time to "give up" the MySpace and adolescent ways."

It could very well be that he is just trying to keep up the facade of being cool on Myspace.com. But that also shows that he hasn't given up his "cheating ways". Why would a man who has a girlfriend and infant son want to cruise the myspace site, except maybe to pick up chicks. Who knows??

Reserve your judgement for later, Kim. People do not change THAT quickly. So, is he now a full-time pizza delivery guy or what??