So don't help anymore and stop putting your hands under her feet. If the baby cries leave her to it - if he runs out of diapers let her get them when his clothes get dirty let her wash them.... and the same goes for her
she will soon see what she has - and maybe respect it my own cousin (18 when she had first twenty when she had second) went through the same thing she had one then two and after the second my aunt said enough - she told her to find accomodation and she would help her with the deposit but that was it she was not funding her any more and she was not going to wash dry or iron anything of hers or her babies anymore and that she was not cleaning for them either - my cousin thought she was joking but things changed when she went to the laundry room to get something from the clean pile and realised it was not done and would not be done until she did it herself.

My aunt found it hard but she stuck with it and by god it worked what a changed young lady we have today she has a good job her own home is getting married next year and has three happy healthy boys - the transformation is amazing and she thanks my aunt for her help in doing this.

Sounds cruel but try it "God loves a Tryer".... or try cut back on your help and see what happens - keep us informed