Did I miss the logic here?

[critter crazy]

Well All I know is thank the lord that you and hubby are there!!! Could you imagine how she would be if you went?? I have to hand it to you, you guys are keeping that baby safe, and helping her out at the same time. she does need to grow up, unfortunately we cant dictate just how fast!

My SIL adopted a baby from a young girl(friend of the family) who got pregnant at 14! two years later she was pregnant again! so my SIL being the wonderful person she is adopted the next little girl, now she is prgnant again! she says she plans on keeping this baby, but already is having problems with her boyfriend. My SIL has already said she cannot adopt the third, it would be too much! But this girl has been pregnant 3 times,at age 14, 16, and 18! what is wrong with the youth of today?? do they not get it?? I AM SCARED TO THINK WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THIS BABY!

[Sara luvs her Tinky]

This makes me think of all those teenage girls on the talk shows that want and will have a baby no matter what. They just don't realize the sacrifices you have to make. She should be thankful that she has you guys and isn't doing it on her own.

Anyways.... as far as the "ugly" outfit... 90% of Alden's clothes are 2nd hand... and I can't be more thankful for them... And if I even thought that it might be ugly... i just put it on him and he turns it 100% ~*CUTE*~. LOL.....

[Cookiebaker]

Maybe someday she will grow up. Life is harsh, and its not about whether a baby outfit is ugly or not. It's about learning to be thankful for all the blessings and treasures that we have.

[moosmom]

Kim,

I'd keep an eye on Ashley. She sounds WAY too stressed out. Yelling at an infant is not a good sign. I hope your SIL's can talk some sense into her. She sounds like she definitely needs a wake up call.

I also think that Caseysmom is right. Just wait till he's old enough to pick out his own clothes. THAT should be a definitely experience.

Hang in there Nana Kim.

[catnapper]

I just spoke with her -- apparently her grant for school next semester is NOT going through because they are waiting for Child support info. The CS she's NOT getting? And WON'T apply for?

Anyway, the Financial Aid people asked if she lives at home, she said yes, and then Financial Aid said "well then they are helping you with your child" she said NO.... ummmm, we're NOT?!?! Sure we don't hand her money left and right but we're providing a roof over their heads, heat, water, electricity, I buy him shoes, clothes (which she won't put on him because they're "ugly") Ah, but she doesn't pay those bills or rent so she doesn't consider those things. She takes them for granted. We're almost out of diapers and I REFUSE to buy more because she swears the other grandmom offers to by him diapers and clothes every time she sees the baby.... so I'm waiting to see that offer become reality. We have maybe enough diapers to make it til Thanksgiving. Lets see if she gets diapers on thursday from daddy's family.

She's the #1 reason why I am searching for a fulltime job. If not for her, I know I wouldn't have just given up on my dream of my own company. I would be fighting and pounding the streets for a way to make it grow. But she has NO CLUE what I do to help her, what I've done for her and the baby. So I'll find a job and let her figure out a way to get child care and a ride to and from school -- I'll be at work when she needs a taxi service and babysitter.

[jackmilliesmom]

So don't help anymore and stop putting your hands under her feet. If the baby cries leave her to it - if he runs out of diapers let her get them when his clothes get dirty let her wash them.... and the same goes for her
she will soon see what she has - and maybe respect it my own cousin (18 when she had first twenty when she had second) went through the same thing she had one then two and after the second my aunt said enough - she told her to find accomodation and she would help her with the deposit but that was it she was not funding her any more and she was not going to wash dry or iron anything of hers or her babies anymore and that she was not cleaning for them either - my cousin thought she was joking but things changed when she went to the laundry room to get something from the clean pile and realised it was not done and would not be done until she did it herself.

My aunt found it hard but she stuck with it and by god it worked what a changed young lady we have today she has a good job her own home is getting married next year and has three happy healthy boys - the transformation is amazing and she thanks my aunt for her help in doing this.

Sounds cruel but try it "God loves a Tryer".... or try cut back on your help and see what happens - keep us informed

[Cataholic]

Having been there myself, I can only encourage you to do whatEVER you think is in Cam's best interest. If this means you are buying him diapers, buy them. If this means you are buying him formula, buy it. If this means buying him a winter coat, buy it.

As for the stresses involved with raising an infant, I can tell you first hand, It. Is. Hard. I needed (and still need) tons of support. I wasn't getting any sleep, was eating poorly, felt isolated, and did I mention I wasn't getting any sleep?

If she is yelling at Cam, then, for heaven's sake- regardless of who is at fault, regardless of who is the 'adult', regardless of WHY, she needs some time away.

The tough love advice in some of the posters is ridiculous, considering the young, innocent baby will be paying the price.

Sure, SHE had the baby. But, last I checked, Catnapper's husband had SHE!

Hang in there, Kim. You can't see it, but, you are doing triple time right now. It will, and it does make a difference. You are doing right.

[cassiesmom]

She's the #1 reason why I am searching for a fulltime job. If not for her, I know I wouldn't have just given up on my dream of my own company. I would be fighting and pounding the streets for a way to make it grow. But she has NO CLUE what I do to help her, what I've done for her and the baby. So I'll find a job and let her figure out a way to get child care and a ride to and from school -- I'll be at work when she needs a taxi service and babysitter.

Don't give up on your dream. It must be very hard to see the child's needs not being met in ways you know you can meet them. Maybe allowing her to figure out her own child care and transportation arrangements will be a growing-up exercise.

[shais_mom]

I agree with what people have said thus far. She felt she was adult enough to HAVE sex, she needs to be adult enough to pay the consequences.
I love Montel Williams quote is - if you pull it out to PLAY you better pull it out to PAY.