Did the school's application contain a 'prompt' of some sort? The applications I filled out and looked at all had different writing prompts. Some schools had a choice of three, and the instructions said to write about *one*. Did this school have that in its application?

Anyways, I think yours is good. I go to a Liberal Arts college, and I'm in a class that focuses on critical reading and writing. The only thing I have to critique is the size of your topic. It seems way too broad - I say pick a topic and go with it. You start out with talking about how highschool should be the best time of your llife - and you explain how it is. Then you move into your parents' divorce, college anticipation, and finally what you want to do with your life. I say pick one of those ideas and run with it. Maybe focus on how your parents' divorce forced you to grow up and have a much more mature outlook on life, or particularly how your highschool career allowed you to have fun and also learn about yourself (and how you learned about yourself).

Maybe I'm way off base. In the applications I looked at when applying for college, they all stated that they wanted to know your personality. I think that if you gave a personal look into who you are as a person (instead of just a touch of every aspect of your life) in one particular field, you could have a stronger impact on the college.

Then again, I only applied to one college.... but I looked at five applications! hahaha

Don't take this as an attack on you or your writing - you're AMAZING with everything you do. Just giving my $.02 worth...

If you don't change a thing, I think it'll still be wonderful.