Terribly worried about my daughter and grandbaby! *UPDATE Page 3*

[cyber-sibes]

You have my prayers, Kim. Letting her move back in was a really good choice. I hate to think of what could (and does) happen to children when they live in an environment like you describe. I hope your daughter will get some counseling so she can straighten out her life, for everyone's sake. You be sure to take care of yourself through all this stress, too. Sounds like you're the glue holding it all together. In fact, you may want to get some counseling for yourself, that's an awful lot of stress, and it's very difficult to think clearly when you are in the middle of the storm, especially when it involves your children. There are some wonderful compassionate people out there who can help you sort it out. God bless.

[catfamily]

Sometimes moving back with the parents and having a child to care for can wake you up and realize that the life before was so bad and she'll try to get a better grip on life now with your help.I know it's very hard on you.I'm sorry your going through this.This is going to be a tough time for you so prayers are needed.I'll certainly pray for you and everyone living under your roof.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Its time to have a frank and open talk with your daughter - adult to adult. Explain that you will do all you can to help her but ultimately she has to take responsibility for her life and that of her baby and learn to fend for herself. I'm not saying give her a "sort yourself out or else" ultimation but she has to be made aware of the way her actions effect the rest of the family.

Its great that she knows she can come home to you but she is a grown up now.

[Pam]

I appreciate the support on me allowing them to move back in! Pam, I don't mean to sound like it is a terrible burden, but she has moved "back" in and out again so many times now that I can't even count!
Kim

I understand Kim and realize it must be so hard. You must feel like you are on a roller coaster ride, one minute happy that she is accepting responsibility and then the next minute going through something like you have recently gone through.

It is a fine line indeed. You want to be there for her emotionally and physically but the conflicted feelings of others in your home must make you feel like you are winding up in the middle of all of this. Also, if you push too strongly for her to develop her *wings* and she isn't ready you could send her right back into his arms. Life is sure not easy Kim. I sure would never judge you. Until we walk in someone else's shoes we just don't understand. In the meantime I will keep your situation in my prayers. I am hoping that when she gets settled in her career she will meet lots of people that will be a good influence on her and she will realize there are other options out there rather than remaining with this guy.

[Catty1]

If this moving HAS been back-and-forth, then the NEXT time you WILL have to call the family services people.

She will have to learn that she can't run back and forth on a whim - and that will teach her!

She does need help, if she likely to keep going back and forth. She likely doesn't know any other way. I hope she will agree to some counselling, or even talking to another woman who went through the same thing and won.

If she is interested, she will get very good first-hand feedback at http://www.authpro.com/cgi-bin/auth.fcgi

I have been a member there for years. I check it out every so often. There are good people there.

The actual board is called "Breaking Up Support II"

HUGS

[Cataholic]

Oh, Kim! I am so glad to hear your daughter and grandbaby are back with you. I am nearly in tears. Sure, it isn't what you all hoped for, but, I don't think the two of them living in a shelter, on the streets, or with some loser was what you had hoped for, either.

Adults, even adult children, need some help, too.

[kimlovescats]

Today I took Amy Beth to look at an apartment. I went home, talked to hubby, then went and paid the deposit ($200.00) and application fee ($30.00)while she was at work. We are signing for only a 3 month lease for now ... just as a trial run to see if she will do her part to keep it! Of course we will probably be paying as much as $300.00 per month towards her rent, but we aren't "saying" that to her just yet! After the 3 months she will have (hopefully) completed her 90 days probation on her new job, and get a bit of a raise and health insurance.

I called her at work and told her the "deal". I made it clear (I hope) that this is "IT"! She has to work hard, be responsible and prove herself over the next 3 months. After that it is "sink or swim".

Kim

[catfamily]

That was Quick Kim!You don't mess around ONE bit!Good Going!

[luckies4me]

Good for you Kim!

I have a friend who is going through a similar situation. Her daughter just had a baby and he was born premature due to her daughter using meth. He is hooked up to machines. Her daughter is running around with a drug dealer, and no matter what she does her daughter will not stop. She has temporary custody of the child, which just might turn permanent.

[caseysmom]

Today I took Amy Beth to look at an apartment. I went home, talked to hubby, then went and paid the deposit ($200.00) and application fee ($30.00)while she was at work. We are signing for only a 3 month lease for now ... just as a trial run to see if she will do her part to keep it! Of course we will probably be paying as much as $300.00 per month towards her rent, but we aren't "saying" that to her just yet! After the 3 months she will have (hopefully) completed her 90 days probation on her new job, and get a bit of a raise and health insurance.

I called her at work and told her the "deal". I made it clear (I hope) that this is "IT"! She has to work hard, be responsible and prove herself over the next 3 months. After that it is "sink or swim".

Kim

Can my niece move in with her....hehe just kidding.

I think in your daughters situation a little help on your part will go a long way, I can't imagine being in her situation with a child.

[timlewis]

I may have the wrong idea of this but I just cant understand why you wouldnt want your daughter and grandchild living with you? If anything went wrong in my marriage my mom and dad would let me move in and out as many times as I wanted. And as someone said I dont know your situation but she is your daughter and as far as the 17 year old just explain that if it was her you would do the same thing and try to explain to her about her husband and your grandbaby.

[lvpets2002]

I am so sorry Kim that you are going thru this.. I hope things do work out with the apartment and new job.. Hopefully your daughter will pick herself up for the baby and stay staight.. But She Has To Stay Off The Drugs.. PM anytime to talk ok .. Me & the girls send ((((( Prayers & Huggss)))))..

[Catty1]

Tim - she mentioned that Amy Beth hs a pattern of moving in with them, back with him, in with them, back with him...this is really stressful. The pattern has to change, and I think this is a realistic and caring way of doing it.

Otherwise, she will likely go back to the guy again.

[jazzcat]

Kim - I'm just now seeing all this and I'm so glad they are both out of that situation with the husband/dad. I'm also glad to hear about the apartment. Hopefully this time Amy Beth can make the clean break and fresh start on her own and not end back up with him or on your doorstep.

Timlewis - Kim has helped her daughter repeatedly. She is now helping her by getting her on her own two feet. I hope it works!

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

I have been lurking around this thread for a long time just watching, but I'm glad you are trying to get Amy to stand on her own two feet again. I could almost imagine the same situation with my nephew and his mom. She doesn't do that stuff, but just the thought is enough to be upsetting.

You are soo soo brave and admirable. I'm so glad you are taking the time and money to help your daughter.

All the best for you, Kim. *hugs*