Downright rude threads!

**Pembroke_Corgi** · 10-23-2006, 02:23 PM

Originally Posted by Karen

NEVER post angry. If you are angry, you will say things you should not. If you have an issue with a person, handle it privately, throughe mail or PM, or bring me into it. If a post makes you angry, don;t respond immediately -- take a dog for a walk, go skitch a kitty, do something else calming, then come back and type a response. Or another approach is to type up an angry response, but NOT post it. Email or PM it to youself, then let it sit for a couple hours. If you then reread it, and it seems reasonable, and not rude, THEN post it.

Wow, that is excellent advice. I know that I have been guilty of posting while I'm angry on at least a few occasions, but I realize I shouldn't. This is a message board, and we all have the opportunity to go over what we said...that's the beauty of it!

**kitten645** · 10-23-2006, 03:53 PM

NEVER post angry. If you are angry, you will say things you should not

This is my golden rule. I'll usually only post a reply if I'm "stewing" about something for a while

I find it very interesting that it's the same people that do it over and over again. I also find it interesting the some are applauded for being "to the point" or "frank" or "truthful". There is such a thing as tact. There is no need to be rude. Reread your post out loud to yourself and consider how it comes across. If you have a "helpful" suggestion to a newbie, send them a polite note privately. No need to cause anyone embarrassment.
If you want to fight take it private 'cause no one is interested.
My ignore list is growing

**IRescue452** · 10-23-2006, 04:38 PM

I must admit I've said some rude things, mostly in defense of myself or others. And I have no problem confronting people about their snippiness. But from another angle, don't take everything to be rude or arguemental. In one posts I was pointing out that cats are not safe outside at any time, and someone took it to be aimed at them. My words were not aimed at anybody and by no means meant to be attacking. They were in fact very general. In another, one person was speaking from the viewpoint of the animal (cat calling a dog bad names), and was attacked for it. If I spoke for my cat I'd certainly refer to dogs as dumb animals, knowing my cat's attitude.
Basically, if you expect an arguement, you'll read other people's post with a tone of malice, and you'll find an arguement out of nothing.

**Sevaede** · 10-23-2006, 04:59 PM

I agree.

Also, I would just like to point out something that I've spent a lot of time thinking about.

Whomever one may be chatting, or posting, to is obviously not someone that you are speaking with in person, at that point in time. I think one of the reasons there are arguments is that some things are misunderstood because we cannot properly convey our emotions and intents with *just* words. Certain words can quickly turn into an argument involving two, or more, people when the post was meant to be friendly and involving a totally different person.

**Ginger's Mom** · 10-23-2006, 08:08 PM

Originally Posted by Wenisrubber

Whomever one may be chatting, or posting, to is obviously not someone that you are speaking with in person, at that point in time. I think one of the reasons there are arguments is that some things are misunderstood because we cannot properly convey our emotions and intents with *just* words. Certain words can quickly turn into an argument involving two, or more, people when the post was meant to be friendly and involving a totally different person.

I agree with this, but the real problem comes in when whoever misinterprets the "offending" post feels they have to say something on the public board that may be equally hurtful (whether intentional or not). If you (that is the general "you") read a post that you feel is offensive, PM the person, it is probably something that can quickly be cleared up. If it is not quickly cleared up you can always inform Karen (I bet this won't be necessary in a majority of the situations). But to reply in a public posting and then have other people seem to take sides, or add their comments just makes the situation much worse.

**CathyBogart** · 10-23-2006, 08:53 PM

This is, overall, the nicest forum I've ever seen. In fact, this is the ONLY forum I've seen where we can discuss hot topics like religion and gay marriage without having any arguments break out. We have our moments, sure, but overall this is a bunch of level-headed, intelligent people.

**cmayer31** · 10-24-2006, 12:10 AM

The worst part about the rude posts is when they hijack someone elses perfectly good thread. Personal attacks need to be taken to PM if at all. It's tough to read threads that have aggresive posts non-relevant to the thread. There's always a way to word a phrase or thought to make it constructive and if it can't be made more mellow it shouldn't be posted. There's so many good people here with a similar passion that it is silly to ruin other peoples threads with rudeness.