Downright rude threads!

**moosmom** · 10-23-2006, 01:42 PM

AMEN Cyber-sibes!!!

I have always given people the benefit of the doubt. I have also tried to treat people the way I would like to be treated, with respect. I have seen SO much disrespect and rudeness towards certain PTers on this board by others, who have not yet experienced all that life has to offer, if you know what I'm talking about. It makes me ill. If my daughter EVER spoke to any elder the way certain members speak to us, the OLDER generation, she'd have been grounded.

I also realize that everyone has their good and bad days, God only knows I'm guilty as well. But some members just seem to be rude and disrespectful ALL THE TIME!! It saddens me.

And you're right, it's so petty, some of the stuff being argued about. Don't apologize for ranting here. That's what we're here for, to listen and learn. I only wish some members would do just that, LISTEN AND LEARN!

JMO.

**CathyBogart** · 10-23-2006, 01:50 PM

Hey, I know I've had my days, particularly in the last two months, so if I've offended anyone I'm sorry! I try to re-read all of my posts before they go up, but sometimes I just don't catch myself.

**JenBKR** · 10-23-2006, 01:54 PM

Originally Posted by CathyBogart

Hey, I know I've had my days, particularly in the last two months, so if I've offended anyone I'm sorry! I try to re-read all of my posts before they go up, but sometimes I just don't catch myself.

I think we all do that - it's human nature! Everyone has a bad day, or moment, or post, but some people seem to be constant about it. I'm *pretty* sure I know the offenders, and it's not you, so don't worry!

**sasvermont** · 10-23-2006, 01:56 PM

I get so anoyed with rude posts. I don't know the ages of these folks doing the nasty posting, but I suspect the ages are all over the place, not just young or old.

Maybe these people don't have a good command of the English language and resort to obnoxious, ill-bred methods of communication.

I will confess to a few short comments, since being here for a few years....but in general, I would like to believe I have given many an honest and colorful response - sometimes direct, but I have not wanted to be hurtful.

I just PM'ed one person, asking why she is being so mean to people. I doubt if I will get a response.

Some folks are just miserable most of the time. I am miserable just a little bit of the time. Most days are happy ones for me and I hope that comes through in my posts!

PT is a wonderful place to spend time and I hope that for the newcomers, topics like this will keep them looking and posting. It is sooooo typical of a forum to have its ups and downs. We have mostly UPS!

(((((((((((((((((Pet Talk)))))))))))))))))

**critter crazy** · 10-23-2006, 02:03 PM

This is mostly the reason why I dont post very much anymore. The thought of having to deal with rudeness, or just defend myself is rediculous! I try my best to be as nice as I can, And I dont think I have ever been rude to anyone. If I have I greatly appologize. I Dont reply to most threads much either, because people just are too defensive of someoes Opinions. It is very hurtful. I would love to post more, without the fear of being torn apart. Cyber-Sibes you have said everything, that i have been wanting to for a while. I just wish I could say it as well as you have!

**trayi52** · 10-23-2006, 02:09 PM

I know exactly what you mean. Had that experience just recently with the last thread I recently put up! It really offended me! Wow! Say something nice for Gods sake!

Willie

**sasvermont** · 10-23-2006, 02:16 PM

I once had a job where I was dealing with 40 secretaries and paralegals. I was new to the job. I was hired to put out "employment fires" and to convert their antiquated accounting software.

The first meeting I had with the 40 folks was interesting. I handed out forms/ questionnaires, and asked that they fill in honest responses to my questions about how they thought people spent their time on the job and recommendations for improvements. The forms were not to be signed, although names of other employees could be used within the form. I told them that the forms would never be shown to anyone - for my eyes only. I didn't really know anyone, so it was a real eye-opener for me. I was amazed at the comments about fellow employees. I worked there almost 10 years and you know what, most of the comments were accurate. I never showed the forms to anyone. I kept my promise.

So.....maybe Karen would like some confidential emails or Pm's, with everyone's idea about who is doing the most damage here, and who should be called on the carpet.

Just an idea.

**CathyBogart** · 10-23-2006, 02:17 PM

I just thought I'd add that I was really nervous about putting up my "wish me luck" thread, but so far I've gotten the nicest responses.

In general, PT rocks.

**moosmom** · 10-23-2006, 02:23 PM

SAS,

Great idea.

**luvofallhorses** · 10-23-2006, 02:30 PM

I hear ya. I try not to be rude to anyone and try to be as nice as possible.

so can't we all please get along ?! this place isn't the same as it used to be.

I am so sick of the bickering and being rude to others. we are like a family and we should treat each and everyone of our fellow pt'ers with respect. of course everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I just hope the nastiness stops.

**buttercup132** · 10-25-2006, 04:11 PM

Originally Posted by moosmom

AMEN Cyber-sibes!!!

I have always given people the benefit of the doubt. I have also tried to treat people the way I would like to be treated, with respect. I have seen SO much disrespect and rudeness towards certain PTers on this board by others, who have not yet experienced all that life has to offer, if you know what I'm talking about. It makes me ill. If my daughter EVER spoke to any elder the way certain members speak to us, the OLDER generation, she'd have been grounded.

I also realize that everyone has their good and bad days, God only knows I'm guilty as well. But some members just seem to be rude and disrespectful ALL THE TIME!! It saddens me.

And you're right, it's so petty, some of the stuff being argued about. Don't apologize for ranting here. That's what we're here for, to listen and learn. I only wish some members would do just that, LISTEN AND LEARN!

JMO.

I am NOT trying to start a fight but you usually are rude to alot of the younger members on PT. Ive seen you post somthing nice to only a few of the younger memebers
And not everyone on PT knows how old everyone is.
Someone may think that someone is 13 but really they are 20.

I know the OP was talking about me and I have fixed what I said and explained myself

it's not right for anyone to be rude. Is it alright for an adult to be rude to a teen? No. Is it alright for a teen to be rude to an adult? No. I don't like it when the "respect those that are older" situation comes up. It's a two way street and both people are in the wrong.

I totally agree! I hate when adults think thats its ok. Its not, just because were younger dosent mean we are any less human and dosent mean we have any less feelings.

**shais_mom** · 12-16-2006, 01:55 AM

I remember the thread in question way back when this was posted but I must have missed this thread.
Honestly - I try and try and try to IGNORE the rudeness adult, young adult alike. But some days it just gets to me more than others. I was informed in PM earlier that I have "picked" on people. I may have but if I did it was b/c they were picking on someone else. I am a hugely passive aggressive person so for this to be thrown in my face...... I hate conflict but I can't stand the rudeness for any member. Young or old. Respect is a two way street - and to quote

Originally Posted by buttercup132

- I hate when adults think thats its ok. Its not, just because were younger dosent mean we are any less human and dosent mean we have any less feelings.

That is entirely true but the 'youngin's need to remember that just b/c we are older that WE are any less human and doesn't mean WE have any less feelings.

**good thread - Pat **

**Miss Z** · 12-16-2006, 04:25 AM

I haven't been around on PT for a while so thankfully I think I've missed most of these arguments. I know in the past I've been involved in the odd one or two, but I really do try my best to steer well clear of the threads in question.

I understand the whole 'adults vs teens' prospective that some people have, but to be honest, I don't see it happening. Used to, in the first few months of my joining of this forum, but not any more. Now either I am blind and living on cloud nine or there's a lot more mutual respect on PT now.

One of the main reasons I generally keep out of arguments is that, strictly speaking, I do not know these people on a personal level. Of course, there are some people on here that I pm or chat to often and have become very friendly with them, and I'm sure that's the case with most people here, and other people that I do not know quite so well. However, having never met any of those people face to face, I do not have the right to have a full-blown rampage at them based purely on what they have written on a friendly site. Surely I can disagree and say what I think about a subject, but I don't need snide comments or teeth and claws to back up my point of view. Everyone here should know better than that.

**Rachel** · 12-16-2006, 08:41 AM

I don't know that I can add anything to what has already been posted here, other than when I occasionally read a thread that has turned heated over something seemingly petty, I try to read it over again to see what was so offensive to begin with. Sometimes I just don't see anything to take offense at. While I agree wholeheartedly that one shouldn't be rude, the other side of that coin is one shouldn't be so thin skinned that they look for insults when they just aren't there.

Then too I have a caveat on the *If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.* Some threads are seemingly a call for help or advice for a life situation fraught with difficulty. If the only response is *something nice*, that isn't very helpful. I don't mean that one should make a rude or uncaring remark, but suggestions which might not be what the poster was looking for might just be the ones which (in the responder's opinion) could be helpful.

Many topics are those which are going to generate a wide range of opinions. Be prepared for that. Don't jump down people's throat for the least little thing which you consider a slight. Remember when you speak about other people on this board, you are essentially doing it behind their back yet in a way they will overhear. I have run up on threads criticizing others which I would have been mortified had the talk been about something I did.

Personally I think an apology goes a long way. If upon reflection, one statements have been an ill thought out reaction, a heart felt *I'm sorry* might be a way to handle that mistake.