Quote Originally Posted by Sara luvs her Tinky
Marriages always start out new and you can overlook their mistakes and think they are cute and you are understanding.. but what i learned... if a husband or wife can't listen to their partner then you don't have much of a partner.. and being understanding only nurtures the spouse to not care about your needs.

VERY good point there, Sara! Too often, it is the "understanding" spouse that looks back upon 5, 7, or even 20 years of marriage, in utter consternation when the other spouse is finished with them, wondering, "where did it go wrong? I was so understanding. I didn't do this. Or, I did this, and never complained". That's right. You didn't. And, he/she is going on, presumabley, to greener pastures, to <gasp> someone that holds them accountable for their actions.

I quit representing clients whose cases even smelt like domestic relations cases. I couldn't deal with the emotions that go with them. With the lying. The cheating. The unending question, "what did I do wrong?". Nothing. You married an idiot. A person that didn't have that inner voice telling them right from wrong, and a person that thought they could get away with treating you like dirt- cause you allowed them for ten years.

I have yet to meet someone that could "meet" my standards. Nothing to do with looks (since I ain't no looker myself). Nothing to do with money (as I am financially self sufficient). Nothing to do with much more than honesty, integrity, love of animals, family and kids, and an ability to function on their own- like **most** adults should be able to. So, those that might be snickering, "well, she is single, she can't be (knowledgable) (able to understand) (shoot, maybe even worthy, who knows?) (or, she must be soooo sad and bitter cause she is single)", I say that I wouldn't change my status, or change my lifestyle for all the tea in China. As I hated dealing with Loebedo's issues in date-hood, and I know I couldn't put up with it inside the contract of marriage. It would be nice, I suppose, to have someone else unclog my toilet or hang the ceiling fan, but, shoot, that is why God made tradespeople!

Lo- whatEVER you do, hold your head up, and remember: You are someone, on your own, irrespective of how someone treats you. Hugito needs a happy, secure mommy. THAT is the best gift you could give him.