Would this upset you?

[lizbud]

A line from sparks previous post stated "He ALWAYS does the laundry because he knows I hate doing the laundry" Thats exactly the kind of
"knowing" that I meant in regards to a "knowing " the other partners
feelings on remembering special days (birthdays, anniversery, etc)

The gift itself is nothing compared to the remembering how the other
person feels about it & making an effort to show they do care about their
feelings by remembering.

[sparks19]

A line from sparks previous post stated "He ALWAYS does the laundry because he knows I hate doing the laundry" Thats exactly the kind of
"knowing" that I meant in regards to a "knowing " the other partners
feelings on remembering special days (birthdays, anniversery, etc)

The gift itself is nothing compared to the remembering how the other
person feels about it & making an effort to show they do care about their
feelings by remembering.

LOL he only KNOWS it because if he doesn't do it then he runs out of clean clothes LOL. he does it because he knows I won't do it. LOL it really has nothing to do with knowing my feelings on the subject. It just doesn't get done.... but he never complains about me not doing it.

Also he did send her flowers and left her a card. That is remembering. How was he to know that wasn't enough? I think that is remembering how the person feels and he did make an effort. What I got from the post was the it was not enough of an effort.

You know what I got and what we did for our first wedding anniversary? I got a wonderful card and some nice flowers. that night we went to my husbands hockey game.... the same thing we did on our wedding night. BUT, I love going to his games and all our friends are there. I don't need extravegant gifts or to go to fancy places, I am a down to earth kinda girl and spending the night at my hubby's hockey game and having a few beers in the parking lot after is just my kind of night.

My husband was married before, she EXPECTED many things from him. she took many things for granted with him. she expected him to do everything with her family, yet she never wanted to do anything with his family. Now they are divorced and we are happier than ever because we can just be ourselves, we can make mistakes, we can screw up, we can forget things but it's ok because we always know the love is there. he NEVER forgets to tell me how much he loves me.

Glacier, Great post. That is exactly how it is here... sorta. Except my husband works and I don't at the moment. He is a much better cook than I am but I enjoy cooking so we almost fight over who gets to cook dinner LOL, sometimes (if the room in the kitchen permits) we will make dinner together. He was in the Army though so he is much neater than I am. he folds his clothes just so, I just fold em so they at least look folded lol. But he is a big boy, he is an adult. if he wanted a mother he would have never left home. I find people confuse Wife with mother too often. We are not there to "take care of them". Believe it or not, most men can take care of themselves just fine (although there is nothing wrong with babying them every once in while, God knows my husband takes care of me when i am not 100%). I am his wife not his mother, he knows that. I made that abundantly clear before we even decided to get married. He is much neater than I am though lol so he usually has to pick up behind me hahahaha. poor guy

[Vela]

A line from sparks previous post stated "He ALWAYS does the laundry because he knows I hate doing the laundry" Thats exactly the kind of
"knowing" that I meant in regards to a "knowing " the other partners
feelings on remembering special days (birthdays, anniversery, etc)

The gift itself is nothing compared to the remembering how the other
person feels about it & making an effort to show they do care about their
feelings by remembering.

I agree with you. The only thing in this instance with the OP is her husband DID remember, it really wasn't his doing that the flowers were late. A card and flowers saying I love you seem very adequate to me, and a thoughtful gesture, so to ME, it seemed odd that someone would be so mad about not getting another present as well. I could see her being upset if maybe he blew the whole thing off and didn't care at all but that's not what happened.

Glacier, great post.

[Pam]

I couldn't vote. I certainly don't think you are a diva, but I just don't see a problem with your hubby.

Jess (K9soul) has said everything I would say and more, and much better I might add. To be honest, I don't know why this man let her get away.

We are all human. We all forget. The fact that hubby had a card for you ready to view when you woke up and tried to send flowers would have been more than enough for me.

I don't know about anyone else but buying gifts for people is very hard for me. I often don't know what to buy and I put it off because I am always thinking that eventually I'll think of *the perfect gift.* This could be why your hubby waited so long. Years ago my hubby used to buy me perfume. Often I couldn't wear it as he likes much stronger scents than I do and sometimes the perfume he would buy me would give me a headache. He sort of lost his zeal after that because he was afraid of disappointing me again.

I am the one in the family who enjoys yard work. He works in the yard because he has to and I work in the yard because I like it. My birthday is in the fall, and one year he bought be a leaf blower for my birthday. I thought it was very clever of him and appreciated it very much. My co-workers at that time thought it was a horrible gift. They thought he should have bought jewelry or something more feminine. My point really is that we are all different and our relationships with our spouses are all different. I think it is more about how we are treated on a daily basis rather than what we give or receive on a special day.

[sparks19]

I agree with you. The only thing in this instance with the OP is her husband DID remember, it really wasn't his doing that the flowers were late. A card and flowers saying I love you seem very adequate to me, and a thoughtful gesture, so to ME, it seemed odd that someone would be so mad about not getting another present as well. I could see her being upset if maybe he blew the whole thing off and didn't care at all but that's not what happened.

Glacier, great post.

I couldn't agree more.

Also, I hope the OP Significant other doesn't see this thread. She didn't paint him in a flattering light and I know if it were my spouse saying things like that about me I would be very upset. and that IS a valid reason to be angry. I understand she was upset but I think saying things like that (even thinking things like that) really hurts a relationship. lobodeb, you say things aren't well between you two besides this birthday thing. I am very sorry I hope you guys can talk it out and get back on track.