Heres my rambling take on it
It sounds like he did try to get you a card and sent flowers to work, but its the excuses about shopping and after the fact gifting sounds a little sucky. I dont know that its the gift that counted, so much as the thoughts and feelings that he put into it thats the problem.
Its a matter of feeling 'wanted' - if someone has to feel bad or guilty about getting me something, or that im a far-flung thought in their busy day, then don't bother with the gift. Seriously - because i'd feel worse that they felt i was an obligation, than if they hadn't bothered at all.
To me though, birthdays and anniversaries aren't all that important if the person does things to show they care throughout the rest of the year - like doing some random niceness things (like coming home to a backrub, or a clean ferret box), or just finding little things that i might like (the latest thing was a little monkey with velcro feet just because, and a USB extension cable since i complained once that my printer at work didin't have a long enough cable).
Heck, my perfect birthday would be to spend the time with my bf sharing a bottle of scotch and playing video games (and maybe a backrub, that would be good too!)
I'm also guilty of forgetting anniversaries. I guess its along the lines that i gift all year - if i see something that the person would like, then i get it, or i make it, or whatever and don't wait for a special occasion. I'm terrible at last minute shopping or trying to find the 'perfect' gift -- thats why Christmas is always the most stressful time of the year for me.
Sooo... I guess to sum it up, a birthday, anniverary, or any other special holiday that generally warrants a gift shouldn't be the -only- indicator of a person's feelings for you ... at least in my opinion
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