Would this upset you?

[sparks19]

The only thing I am wondering about.... re read the OP. do you think it is OK to talk about your husband in such a way. The feeling I got from reading that was the she is disgusted with her husband. perhaps it was just that she was angry but I have a hard time believing that such snide comments haven't been thought about before this. Perhaps he doesn't want to do special things anymore because he doesn't get the special treatment he used to. i dont imagine Lobodeb talked to or about him when they first got married the way she talks about him now. In that post alone she has insinuated (sp? lol) that he is lazy, stupid, incompetent, he can't do anything right. What a terrible way to speak about someone you are supposed to love

Again, I know anger can be a powerful thing and makes us say things we don't really mean but that was a very harsh post. I really hope her husband never reads this. I know my husband would be heart broken if I ever talked about him that way.

YES a marriage is 50/50 you have to give a little to get a little, and often it is hard to look at ourselves and see fault in how we are acting.

Lobodeb, you really need to sit down with your husband and TALK to him. No blaming, just talking. Maybe you will find out the answers to your questions. Maybe he is angry at you for some reason. but communication is KEY. If you are angry at him for something YOU need to tell him WHY. You need to tell him how it makes you feel when he does that. If that doesn't work I would seriously recommend marriage counselling. I am sorry if I am over stepping my bounds, I know I don't know you or your situation. this is just the impression I got from your post.

Don't EVER go to bed angry.

If something is bothering you, you MUST tell him. how is he supposed to fix it if you won't talk to him about it.

Life is stressful but you need to be there for each other, not battling each other. He should be your greatest ally.

If you have made every attempt to communicate with him and he is unrelenting and still does the things that upset you, THEN he has NO excuse. but if you are just leaving him to figure it out on his own then you are waiting for a frosty day in h*ll because men aren't mind readers lol Heck they aren't even lip readers (remember communication is not sitting down and blaming him. You can't sit down and say "you do this and this and this and this. you don't do this and this and this and this." have a REAL talk)


Good luck. I hope you guys can work everything out.

[caseysmom]

Sparks, Debbie is a very kind sweet woman. I think she just needed to vent.

[lizbud]

Whoa there sparkie. I believe you are getting carried away with
this whole thing. How dare you be so presumptuous to assume you have all the answers & can lecture Lobodeb? Just let this go girl. Go read a book, or take a pill or something. I thing you've spouted off long enough.Lobodeb
doesn't need your "advice" Get a grip. You answered the original question
so let this go already. Geeze.

[Lobodeb]

In that post alone she has insinuated (sp? lol) that he is lazy, stupid, incompetent, he can't do anything right.

I never said he was stupid, incompetent or can't do anything right. I did say he was lazy.

Lobodeb, you really need to sit down with your husband and TALK to him. No blaming, just talking. Maybe you will find out the answers to your questions.

I did sit down and talk to him, and that's when I found out that he couldn't get a ride. He then lied to me and said he asked my mom what I wanted. He claims that she told him she didn't know. That is a lie on 2 fronts. He never asked her, and 2, she kept a list of what I wanted so she would know.

Someone else suggested that I keep a wish list. I do. He must have forgotten about it.

But to answer your question, yes I am disgusted with him, but not just over this birthday incident. There is a lot more going on that fueled this blow out.

Thanks everyone for your opinions. I did ask for them, however, I didn't ask to be called names, but none the less, I put my business out there, so I'm fair game, I guess.

[caseysmom]

Debby, Sorry some are insensitive when you really don't need it. I am sending you a big hug okay? I hope your husband will come around and be more sensitive and caring, that adorable little boy needs his mom and dad.

[sparks19]

I never said he was stupid, incompetent or can't do anything right. I did say he was lazy.



I did sit down and talk to him, and that's when I found out that he couldn't get a ride. He then lied to me and said he asked my mom what I wanted. He claims that she told him she didn't know. That is a lie on 2 fronts. He never asked her, and 2, she kept a list of what I wanted so she would know.

Someone else suggested that I keep a wish list. I do. He must have forgotten about it.

But to answer your question, yes I am disgusted with him, but not just over this birthday incident. There is a lot more going on that fueled this blow out.

Thanks everyone for your opinions. I did ask for them, however, I didn't ask to be called names, but none the less, I put my business out there, so I'm fair game, I guess.

I didn't know about the lying and that IS 100% unacceptable. Did you ask your mother about that? I hope you confronted him about that. I most certainly would confront my husband if he ever lied to me. It really sounds like there are some serious problems and I really do hope you can both get past this "rough patch".

I can understand somewhat about the driving though. I don't drive. i don't even have my license. i do NOT like to drive. I detest it. I sometimes feel bad because my husband has to do all the driving, but he knew about this before he married me. I am simply not comfortable in a vehicle ESPECIALLY to drive it.

I don't recall anyone calling you names I could be wrong but I just don't have the energy or ambition right now to go check LOL.

I have been in some TERRIBLe relationships. They were full of lies, anger, arguments, and hateful words. I will NEVER be in a relationship like that again. I will always tell the truth even when it hurts, I will not dwell on the past, and I will not manipulate OR be manipulated. I made it perfectly clear when my husband and I started dating that if he ever felt the need to disrespect me that I would make short work of that. I give him all the respect in the world and he does the same for me and I would not tolerate any different. Respect and honesty are expected, demanded, and always reciprocated (this goes for him and myself).

Bob's Dad. LOL I didn't take it seriously. I don't get angry (unless it is called for) A lot ofpeople read my posts and think I am upset or a real harda$$ but you can't really tell from a post (unless I used some choice words LOL) The only thing that matters in my life is my family, friends and all our well being. the rest is just too piddly to get upset about. I have a sister who is angry ALL the time and what a terrible way to live life. Life is too short to be angry. I always find your sarcasm funny and refreshing I grew up in sarcasmville LOL when visiting with my family you better leave your feelings at the door haha because we are full of sarcasm (amongst other things lol).