Please keep Phred in your prayers.

[Vermontcat]

Phred, I'm happy to hear that you are back at home recovering with your wonderful sense of humor still intact.
It's good to hear that Mr Bear was by your side during your hospital stay.
Mr Bear's Vermont relatives from the home office send "Get Well Soon" wishes your way.

[Karen]

There's just no place like your own bed to help you feel better. Where YOU control the thermostat, can shush the roommates with a stern glare and growl, and where you know where evrything is, and can eat when you are hungry!

Glad you and Mr. Bear both made it through the whole thing, that even when he was Bear-napped he got brought back, and so glad for you that you are home! And home on Pet Talk, too!

[Cinder & Smoke]

Four a-klock Tuesday was getting closer ... tick ... tock ... tickity ... tockity ...
the Sandy Bag was *crushing* me.

In pops Nighty Nurse's Aid - with her *smiley* face in a fresh scowl.
HI, sez I - ya know what TIME it is?

Another nasty *scowl* as she announces "Yup, it's 4:10"

Uhhh, this Brick comes off at 4:00.
"Sez who?"
The note on my board - "Sandbag till 4:00"
"I'll have to check with your Nurse."

She stomped back a little while later and removed the SandyBag / Brick -
then pulled my dress down and *poked* the bandage a few times ...
"Gotta see if there's any 'seepage' or bleeding."

sez I.

I start to climb out of the big hole in the butt area of my mattress ...
"And WHERE do you think YOU'RE going!?"

Uhhh ... for a lil Hike in the Hall with Bear??

"Don't think so, Bud! You're on BED REST till 6:00!"

- - ... but she was a LOT Bigger than me,
so I stayed put with any eye on the clock ... tick ... tock ...

6:00 came and I discovered my dress was untied at the top - hardly suitable for a Hike in the Hall.
I *buzzed* into Nurse HQ ... "Yessss ... whadda ya want?"
Can you ask Connie (my 'Real' RN Nursey) to stop by - I need help with my gown.

Connie never showed ... I got Miz *Smiley* with another hateful scowl ...
WHAT's wrong with your gown?
It's untied at the top.
"I know - I untied it ... I'll tie it when it needs to be tied." *Smiley*

She wandered back about 6:20 ... "You wanna go to the bathroom?"
SURE! I almost (almost) *leaped* out of bed ... then discovered she was gonna
*watch* the big trip to the potty. I *went*, then came back to the bed to grab Teddy
and headed for the door and FREEDOM ...

"HEY! WHERE ya goin? GET back in bed, NOW!"

Bbbbuuutttt ... it's 6:30 - I'm allowed "out" now. I wanna take a Hike.

"I said 'BATHROOM at 6:00' - not hallway!
At 8:00 you can go anywhere ya want - *IN*side This ROOM!
Ya can 'hike' tomorrow! ... Back IN BED - NOW!"



Connie appeared about 9:00 (*Smiley* had gone home) and I pleaded my case with her.
Not impressed ... she said Doc R. "never" let's patients "walk" the day of the procedure.
NUTZ!
When are you going home? And who's your Relief?

"Jeanine comes in at 11:30 ... I see you in the morning."

... I lay quietly waitin for Jeanine.

Jeanine dropped in about 11:30-ish ... she was super friendly the night before ...
I and about 'needing' a Hike - that Teddy was getting bored.
Anyway, it was gonna be "Tomorrow" in another 15 minutes.
She went off to *look at my chart* ...

The "Official Word" scribbled by Doc R. was "NO ambulation till morning".

Sez I: Sooooo ... what'sa problem? "Morning starts in 10 minutes - a New Day!

She looked *up* for Divine Guidance ...
"OK, I give up ... I gotta go see some sick people - You anna Bear do whatever
you want - just don't let me *see* you guys outta this room!
And try to keep it to ONE trip around the block!"

DEAL!
Bear and I slipped into our suits and Took a Hike around the block.
The Plan was to do a fancy figure-8 through the Nurses' Station; then
reverse and repeat the journey before passing our room again.
Off we went ... Hmmmmm ... wonder why there's a "WET FLOOR" sign at both ends in the middle of the far hallway?

- - -
Answer: 'Cause the guy just drove the Rug Scrubber down the dang hall!
Slipper Sockz don't do well on WET Carpet!
Gave the Girls all a good .
One even offered that "THAT's why they put that SIGN up!"



Bear and I revised our route ... the "trail" we were leaving dried up during the second pass ...
Jeanine couldn't "see" we made TWO trips around the block.

We crawled into bed and I hug the soggy sockz up to dry on the bed railing.
Jeanine came in for evening pills and "noted" the Soggy Socks ...

"Lemmie guess - they're scrubbing the hall rug?
You guys have a nice Hike?"

Smarty Pants ... G-nite!

She got her revenge ... woke us up at SIX a-klock in the morning!
"Rise & Shine - you're due in X-ray at 7:00!
Get yourself cleaned up - da Bus will be here at 6:30!"

You allow 30 minutes to go down 6 floors in an elevator and wind thru the halls for a quarter mile!???
Jeanine just *smiled* and said G-bye - she'd be gone when I got back.

Da Bus pulled up - no Racing Stripes (or *dents*) showing; and the Driver wasn't wearing
a flame suit. I hopped on with Bear and we stopped at TV Central to swap the "local"
telemetry box for a Long-Range model ... then off to the express elevator ...

A very "sedate" trip to X-ray - don't think we *clipped* a single corner.
I got abandoned in the hall for almost a half hour - their excuse for a Patient Waiting Area.
Hopped off the cart, stood for 2 of the machine;
then lay on the cart for another 20 minutes for a different Driver to return and
haul us back to home on the 6th floor.

Breakfast had arrived ~~~ Rubber Eggs, tasty home fries, a cold muffin, juice, kawfee,
and a bowl of "porridge" that TWO packs of sugar couldn't help down.

The came The Blonde ... *perky* little thing - the Medtronic Rep to "check"
the Buzz Box and turn on a couple of features, then demo the "warning *Beeps*" da Box could produce if doom was pending. She *be-popped* in and asked:
"Are you Mr. Phred? I'm Suzie-Q from Medtronic!"

NOPE- he died last night and they hauled his ass outta here.
OMG!
I thought she was gonna *pass out*!
Memo to Self: DON'T joke with the Buzz Box Rep!

She finished her check-out and sent a couple of "Beeps" for me to hear ...
then seemed happie to be on her way! "Call Doc if you have any questions ..."

She'll remember THAT patient visit for a while!

Next up - *WAIT* and *wait* and freakin *WAIT* for Dear Doc to show up ...

New Roomie showed up around 2:00 PM - and was immediately hustled off
for some procedure.
We chatted a bit when he and Wifey returned ...
but he was tired and drifted of to La-La Land after he ate his cold lunch.

I made a few phone calls ... no problemo till Miz NOT *Smiley*, the Nurse's Aid gal, returned
in mid-phone call ...
"HEY! Didn't anyone tell you NOT to use that cellphone in here? QUIT IT!"

I hid behind the curtain for a couple more calls, then got back to "waiting" ...
All was well till "Mom" / Diana called and the darn cell *RANG* just as NOT *Smiley*
walked back into the room! OMG! ... This is gonna turn *UGGLIE!

"HEY! What'd I tell you about that phone!?
You'll goof up all the Telemetry in the hospital. QUIT IT!"

The *WAIT* lasted till 6:30 PM ... luckily they knew I was still there 'cause I got meal trays
for Lunch AND Dinner ...

In *popped* My Dear Doc - all *SMILEY* and Happie.

After a listen check with her 'scope, she lay down the New Rules ...
* NO using the left arm for a week ...
* NO Lifting or raising that arm above the shoulder for a MONTH
* NO Driving for a MONTH
* Keep it CLEAN - soap & water, then *pat* it dry - NO Rubbing!

Question?? Should I use antibiotic creme on the Zipper?

"Of COURSE not! BUGS grow in that stuff!
Didn't I just say SOAP & WATER!?"

And she wasn't in any mood to "negotiate" the NO Driving.

OK ... just Sign me OUTTA here!
That only took another half hour.

Unlike the last Hoppsbittle Exit (down the back steps led by my Nurse) ...
I opted for the Free Bus Ride down with a Real Bus Driver.
He finally arrived and offered a seat on his BigWheel Chariot ...
A final G-bye to Cute Nurse Connie and we were OFF to meet Unka Pat!

Teddy-E-Bear rode on my lap and made a few friends on the way down ...
da Bus Driver almost drove me into the front seat of Pat's Bus and helped toss
my satchel into the back seat, then bid us G-bye & Good Luck! Nice Guy!

A quick stop at Wally's Mart for antibiotic pills and Tylenol ... then to Pat's Place to
SEE THE KIDS Again!!

Quite the Adventure is was it was ...
And a SPECIAL THANKS to All the Pet Talkers who sent Notes, Cards, Calls, and PRAYERS!!

I don't think "WE" coudda dun it without all your Love & Support ...

THANKS, Gang!!


{{{HUGS}}}


/s the Bionic Boy

[shais_mom]

wowza
sounds like in the midst of the phone calls when you complained about the emails not getting thru you should have mentioned the Nurses aide.

yea - we used to have a no cell phone rule - there was a lady walking down the hall one day chatting away and I said "sorry ma'am there isn't allowed any cell use in here" and she looked at me and said "yea I know" - her daughters were aghast - MOM get off the phone. Her reply - "what's she gonna do shoot me?" turns out she used to work there and was a respiratory tech - so she knows all about heart schtuff. I have never said a word to another person about it I swore I would not put up with that again. Shortly thereafter - it was deemed safe to be on the cell phone in the hospital. Good thing since most of the nurses spend a lot of time on them talking to kids or boyfriends or husbands etc

[Bengalz]

Phred - don't EVER stop expressing yourself Reading your last post had me in tears of laughter - oh the images ......

I'm so glad you're feeling well enough to give us such a great play by play - must mean you're on the rollercoaster to recovery Be good, play nice and get some rest.

Hugs,
Betty

[Daisy and Delilah]

Rolling on the floor again Phred!! Too bad the hospital staff really didn't share your wonderful sense of humor Gosh!! Can't they take a joke or two?? What a thrill it is to be able to read your accounts of the adventure. Keep the stories coming. How are you feeling and how is it with only one arm? I can imagine it's a big pain in the........ I know if it were possible, all the PT'ers would form a great big nursing staff to make sure you have the best care 24/7. Too bad we can't all be there to help Take care and get better!!

[cyber-sibes]

Aw Phred, they'll probably put up a plaque in the hallway with your name on it for the "most memorable patient"! Try & take it easy.

[Barbara]

Oh Phred- you are the one who is sick and you get everyone rolling on the floor!
How come that nurses always are tougher than doctors?

I can imagine how much the kids were happy to see you (and Bear) again

[Cincy'sMom]

Phred, I work A LOT with Medtronic setting up the chemsitry test of their products to be sure they are safe for patient use. I don't know their sales people, but working with their engineerings, I found your joke very funny!!! They need to loosen up and laugh once and a while

[pitc9]

Oh Phred... I'm pretty sure that the nurses there will not forget you and may be talking about you for a while!
Glad to hear your tickin'!

[Randi]

Good grief, what an adventure you had!! But it was fun to read - better than ANY thriller! I'm glad you lived through it, it would have finished off everyone else. What were they trying to do? Test your stamina! When I got to the "WET FLOOR" bit, I almost fainted!

Well, I guess it was all for your own good. I hope you're feeling a lot better now, with your friends around, the prayer pups and Boots - and in your own bed!

Now, take it easy, get some yummy food, and keep that arm down!

[Dorothy39]

Oh Phred~~~ Your description of that Huttsbittle stay had me laughing real hard, I read it out loud to my husband while laughing after each phrase!!!!!

How well I remember the New Rules given to my Father-in-Law !!! I wish "HE" had your sense of humor ( which seems to be the only way to cope with the situation)!!!


From now on, I will refer to his pace maker as the Buzz Box

You be sure and get your rest!!!!!!

[lizbud]

Phred, come on now. Did you really say that to the Medtronic person? Priceless. Would have loved to see her face after
that, With your deadpan expression, I'm sure she would take you
seriously.

[*LabLoverKEB*]

Sending prayers and hugs to Phred...

[Rachel]

Phred, my wish for the day is that your hospital adventure could be illustrated by some of our talented Pet Talkers and put into a little booklet for distribution to .......THE HOSPITAL WORKERS. Only thing would be you maybe not needing to ever go back to that hospital. Guess we can't take that chance, huh? The bear would surely give it away as to who told the tale.

How's things going at the Ranch? Sure hope each day finds you feeling a bit better. Did Suzy Q Medtronic girl give you any info on avoiding certain stuff that might send the box into a frenzy?