I want to thank each & everyone of yous for your support & kind words of comfort. It really helps with the pain. If I knew Nanook, which I do, he would want me to be celebrating his life not mourning his death. I'm trying my best to do so, it's hard though. Every single time I walk through the house, there is no Nanook, when I sit on the couch he's not in his favorite spot... under my feet, he's not panting & sleeping by my bed anymore, his food dish remains empty, the meal portions are not right, I don't have to give him his meds & supplements or check his sores or help him get up & down the doggy ramp or up after a nap, it seems everywhere I look, everywhere I go there is memories that he's not here. Thank dog ( ) there are also tons of fond, wonderful, meaningfulemories packed all around as well.
I've been using the library for my net access therefore I can not upload the most recent pics I have of my boy but I am not quite sure I am ready for that yet anyways.
I don't what I would do without my other cirtters right now, they really do help brighten my day, I think I'd go insane without them.

It was Tues evening when I went out to get him to come back inside after eating dinner. As soon as I turned the corner and saw him layiung there I knew he was telling me he was finally ready after all these years. It was such a sad sight, he was just laying there, on his side in a position I never seen, not interested in his dinner which was extremely odd fror him, that boy is a pig lol, all that zest for life, his super high spirits, that happy go lucky smile & the sparkle in his eyes.... all of those characterisitics were gone. It was within a matter of minutes. I felt so bad for him, knowing he wanted to leave, so much that I was about to bring him to the emergancy vets but as soon as I thought of that he started to get a little ancy, a little sparkle returned to his eyes & into his steps. I asked him if he'd rather go tomorrow & I swear he answered me, his eyes glistened, he smiled & he barked. Needless to say I didn't get that much sleep that night even though I knew Nanook would want me to. Wed came & I spent all morning with him, never letting him out of my site (except for the first hour where I had to show up at my new job to give them the news & I stopped by the butcher on the way home to buy him the biggest, bloodiest porterhouse they had). I made the appointm,ent for noon. The entire morning we (my mom came over my best friend was there) all sat around him, loving him, feeding him, talking with him & enjoying what he had together. We made a few stops on the way to the vets office because there were of course other people that wanted to say goodby to him. All morning long he had no zest oir zing or so it seemed. It was time & he was ready. We layed on the floor in the exam room on top oif a big cushy knitted afghan. We shared some stories waiting for the awfully nice vet to come in. It was so very quick & peaceful. I stayed strong with him while he was still here with us but the moment his last breath ended it was all over for me too. I lost it. I stayed there for approx an hour just holding hugging, crying on him. My mother & Missy were finally able to make me smile & even laugh a little bit. I knew then that it was time for me to leave. I can still see him, feel him & hear him at times. It's almost like it hasn't happened, that it couldn't of happened but then I open my eyes & come to the realization that it is in fact not a dream but reality. It's incredibally hard but I'm trying to cope the best I can. I couldn't of asked for a better family, better critters, better friends, for you sure have made a world of difference for me in this time of need.

I feel this is about all I can get of me today so I'll leave you with some pics.

this would be him telling me to "give it up Ma, get out & enjoy some life"


his last christmas


That never ending smile


getting a massage from his favorite feline


doing his favorite thing... tearing up meat


That's all I can do & say today. thank yous all for being such wonderful people.

Fare thee well
Fare thee well
I love you more than words can tell
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox Nooker Bean