Four a-klock Tuesday was getting closer ... tick ... tock ... tickity ... tockity ...
the Sandy Bag was *crushing* me.

In pops Nighty Nurse's Aid - with her *smiley* face in a fresh scowl.
HI, sez I - ya know what TIME it is?

Another nasty *scowl* as she announces "Yup, it's 4:10"

Uhhh, this Brick comes off at 4:00.
"Sez who?"
The note on my board - "Sandbag till 4:00"
"I'll have to check with your Nurse."

She stomped back a little while later and removed the SandyBag / Brick -
then pulled my dress down and *poked* the bandage a few times ...
"Gotta see if there's any 'seepage' or bleeding."

sez I.

I start to climb out of the big hole in the butt area of my mattress ...
"And WHERE do you think YOU'RE going!?"

Uhhh ... for a lil Hike in the Hall with Bear??

"Don't think so, Bud! You're on BED REST till 6:00!"

- - ... but she was a LOT Bigger than me,
so I stayed put with any eye on the clock ... tick ... tock ...

6:00 came and I discovered my dress was untied at the top - hardly suitable for a Hike in the Hall.
I *buzzed* into Nurse HQ ... "Yessss ... whadda ya want?"
Can you ask Connie (my 'Real' RN Nursey) to stop by - I need help with my gown.

Connie never showed ... I got Miz *Smiley* with another hateful scowl ...
WHAT's wrong with your gown?
It's untied at the top.
"I know - I untied it ... I'll tie it when it needs to be tied." *Smiley*

She wandered back about 6:20 ... "You wanna go to the bathroom?"
SURE! I almost (almost) *leaped* out of bed ... then discovered she was gonna
*watch* the big trip to the potty. I *went*, then came back to the bed to grab Teddy
and headed for the door and FREEDOM ...

"HEY! WHERE ya goin? GET back in bed, NOW!"

Bbbbuuutttt ... it's 6:30 - I'm allowed "out" now. I wanna take a Hike.

"I said 'BATHROOM at 6:00' - not hallway!
At 8:00 you can go anywhere ya want - *IN*side This ROOM!
Ya can 'hike' tomorrow! ... Back IN BED - NOW!"



Connie appeared about 9:00 (*Smiley* had gone home) and I pleaded my case with her.
Not impressed ... she said Doc R. "never" let's patients "walk" the day of the procedure.
NUTZ!
When are you going home? And who's your Relief?

"Jeanine comes in at 11:30 ... I see you in the morning."

... I lay quietly waitin for Jeanine.

Jeanine dropped in about 11:30-ish ... she was super friendly the night before ...
I and about 'needing' a Hike - that Teddy was getting bored.
Anyway, it was gonna be "Tomorrow" in another 15 minutes.
She went off to *look at my chart* ...

The "Official Word" scribbled by Doc R. was "NO ambulation till morning".

Sez I: Sooooo ... what'sa problem? "Morning starts in 10 minutes - a New Day!

She looked *up* for Divine Guidance ...
"OK, I give up ... I gotta go see some sick people - You anna Bear do whatever
you want - just don't let me *see* you guys outta this room!
And try to keep it to ONE trip around the block!"

DEAL!
Bear and I slipped into our suits and Took a Hike around the block.
The Plan was to do a fancy figure-8 through the Nurses' Station; then
reverse and repeat the journey before passing our room again.
Off we went ... Hmmmmm ... wonder why there's a "WET FLOOR" sign at both ends in the middle of the far hallway?

- - -
Answer: 'Cause the guy just drove the Rug Scrubber down the dang hall!
Slipper Sockz don't do well on WET Carpet!
Gave the Girls all a good .
One even offered that "THAT's why they put that SIGN up!"



Bear and I revised our route ... the "trail" we were leaving dried up during the second pass ...
Jeanine couldn't "see" we made TWO trips around the block.

We crawled into bed and I hug the soggy sockz up to dry on the bed railing.
Jeanine came in for evening pills and "noted" the Soggy Socks ...

"Lemmie guess - they're scrubbing the hall rug?
You guys have a nice Hike?"

Smarty Pants ... G-nite!

She got her revenge ... woke us up at SIX a-klock in the morning!
"Rise & Shine - you're due in X-ray at 7:00!
Get yourself cleaned up - da Bus will be here at 6:30!"

You allow 30 minutes to go down 6 floors in an elevator and wind thru the halls for a quarter mile!???
Jeanine just *smiled* and said G-bye - she'd be gone when I got back.

Da Bus pulled up - no Racing Stripes (or *dents*) showing; and the Driver wasn't wearing
a flame suit. I hopped on with Bear and we stopped at TV Central to swap the "local"
telemetry box for a Long-Range model ... then off to the express elevator ...

A very "sedate" trip to X-ray - don't think we *clipped* a single corner.
I got abandoned in the hall for almost a half hour - their excuse for a Patient Waiting Area.
Hopped off the cart, stood for 2 of the machine;
then lay on the cart for another 20 minutes for a different Driver to return and
haul us back to home on the 6th floor.

Breakfast had arrived ~~~ Rubber Eggs, tasty home fries, a cold muffin, juice, kawfee,
and a bowl of "porridge" that TWO packs of sugar couldn't help down.

The came The Blonde ... *perky* little thing - the Medtronic Rep to "check"
the Buzz Box and turn on a couple of features, then demo the "warning *Beeps*" da Box could produce if doom was pending. She *be-popped* in and asked:
"Are you Mr. Phred? I'm Suzie-Q from Medtronic!"

NOPE- he died last night and they hauled his ass outta here.
OMG!
I thought she was gonna *pass out*!
Memo to Self: DON'T joke with the Buzz Box Rep!

She finished her check-out and sent a couple of "Beeps" for me to hear ...
then seemed happie to be on her way! "Call Doc if you have any questions ..."

She'll remember THAT patient visit for a while!

Next up - *WAIT* and *wait* and freakin *WAIT* for Dear Doc to show up ...

New Roomie showed up around 2:00 PM - and was immediately hustled off
for some procedure.
We chatted a bit when he and Wifey returned ...
but he was tired and drifted of to La-La Land after he ate his cold lunch.

I made a few phone calls ... no problemo till Miz NOT *Smiley*, the Nurse's Aid gal, returned
in mid-phone call ...
"HEY! Didn't anyone tell you NOT to use that cellphone in here? QUIT IT!"

I hid behind the curtain for a couple more calls, then got back to "waiting" ...
All was well till "Mom" / Diana called and the darn cell *RANG* just as NOT *Smiley*
walked back into the room! OMG! ... This is gonna turn *UGGLIE!

"HEY! What'd I tell you about that phone!?
You'll goof up all the Telemetry in the hospital. QUIT IT!"

The *WAIT* lasted till 6:30 PM ... luckily they knew I was still there 'cause I got meal trays
for Lunch AND Dinner ...

In *popped* My Dear Doc - all *SMILEY* and Happie.

After a listen check with her 'scope, she lay down the New Rules ...
* NO using the left arm for a week ...
* NO Lifting or raising that arm above the shoulder for a MONTH
* NO Driving for a MONTH
* Keep it CLEAN - soap & water, then *pat* it dry - NO Rubbing!

Question?? Should I use antibiotic creme on the Zipper?

"Of COURSE not! BUGS grow in that stuff!
Didn't I just say SOAP & WATER!?"

And she wasn't in any mood to "negotiate" the NO Driving.

OK ... just Sign me OUTTA here!
That only took another half hour.

Unlike the last Hoppsbittle Exit (down the back steps led by my Nurse) ...
I opted for the Free Bus Ride down with a Real Bus Driver.
He finally arrived and offered a seat on his BigWheel Chariot ...
A final G-bye to Cute Nurse Connie and we were OFF to meet Unka Pat!

Teddy-E-Bear rode on my lap and made a few friends on the way down ...
da Bus Driver almost drove me into the front seat of Pat's Bus and helped toss
my satchel into the back seat, then bid us G-bye & Good Luck! Nice Guy!

A quick stop at Wally's Mart for antibiotic pills and Tylenol ... then to Pat's Place to
SEE THE KIDS Again!!

Quite the Adventure is was it was ...
And a SPECIAL THANKS to All the Pet Talkers who sent Notes, Cards, Calls, and PRAYERS!!

I don't think "WE" coudda dun it without all your Love & Support ...

THANKS, Gang!!


{{{HUGS}}}


/s the Bionic Boy