Hubby makes me mad( good update first op )

[Vela]

Okay, calm down, folks.

Ashleycat, you have some decisions to make. Not regarding the bunny or the tattoo or the counselor.

First, you need to figure out what you want from your life. If you are that angry, and have been for a year, you need to re-evaluate things and take a good hard look at why you are angry.

Next, you need to figure out what you want from this marriage. And if you are not willing to work at it, both of you, then you need to not complain about it publicly. People here are willing to sympathize, but not to be doormats, or to advocate being doormats. A marriage is a partnership. If either of you is not willing to compromise, a marriage will never work, and you will always be unhappy.

Third, if you are going to a counselor that tells you your depression is caused by anything someone else does, stop going to that person. He or she is not doing you any good, and may be doing you harm.

In all these things, you need consider the impact your anger and unhappiness is having on your daughter, your pets, and your home.

We cannot help you make any of these decisions.

I agree with Karen.

I also think some of you should step back. I agree with what many of you are saying, but not in how you are saying it. It's not always easy to get out of situations we get ourselves into in life, and some of the comments are much too harsh in terms of how they are given. Yes it gets old, but there are other posters who post things that are lies or half truths or nothing but complaints, and I don't see people attacking them like a pack of dogs. I understand where the anger comes in to play, but at the same time it's not helping Ashley or you to get that upset about it. Some people have mental diabilities and are unable to see the situations as others see it, or don't know how to get out of it, and while some may not wish to make comments in a positive way, I think some are being overly harsh to the negative. I do wish you all a nice day, and I'm not picking on anyone, it just seems very harsh.

Ashley, I hope you are able to get the help you need and can find a way to be happy for yourself and your daughter, she is more important than anything else, and these negative things that are happening are greatly going to affect her stability as an adult. You need to figure things out and soon, because it IS hurting her, even though she is still young yet. These are her most impressionable years and will shape her entire future life. Sounds like you need a new counselor for yourself alone and with your husband together to work through these things, because it's not a good life for any of you.

[caseysmom]

Thanks Vela you said what I was thinking but would not have said as nicely.

[My Peanuts]

I may have been a little harsh, but when a child and pets are affected by this person’s decisions or lack of decisions I feel the need to vent for their sake. I'm not apologizing for what I said. I think Ashleycat has to realize a lot of things. I believe in trying to help people, but when they don’t listen to reason then they need someone to give it to them straight.

Ashleycat, I am angry at your choices, but I do not hate you. I know everyone's situations are different, but your problems are very big and I believe you are taking them way too lightly.

[Lori Jordan]

I have stayed completly away from this thread as i hate to hurt people,All i see are excuses,As to the animals,If you knew he was not as fond as animals after Charlie why add a dog and now a Bunny,As it takes every animal time to ajust and get used to there new surroundings.Now she will have to start all over again,Which causes stress on them and could take there life.Is that fair?I would rethink things,My husband knows if he ever acted like this his bags would be packed,and trust me we are beyond complete opposites we really have no hobbies nothing in common,But we have concideration for eachother and you can say whatever you like we have been together for 16 years,and not once have i doubted our Marriage.

I'm not saying leave him,but maybe it is not a bad idea,Apart from the animals your daughter should be number one,I hate any family breaking up,but if the parents are always in a tiff i truly believe the child is better off,They grow to what you as parents have taught them,I wish you luck,and i hope the bunny gets to stay put even though i do not know the animal my stomach is upside down thinking about the poor thing having to go through this.

[ashleycat]

,If you knew he was not as fond as animals after Charlie why add a dog and now a Bunny,.

I asked if I could get them before I got them. I didn't just go get them w/o permission. He is changing his feelings. I rehomed Charlie because he needed a more active family. One that can stay on top of his dominance. Even with nilf, I must not have done it right. I could get him to do things, I brought him a far way with his training myself. I just couldn't stay on top of being alpha.

[RICHARD]

Geez, you can always find another man.....

Pets?

THey are once in a lifetime.

[Cataholic]

I may have been a little harsh, but when a child and pets are affected by this person’s decisions or lack of decisions I feel the need to vent for their sake. I'm not apologizing for what I said. I think Ashleycat has to realize a lot of things. I believe in trying to help people, but when they don’t listen to reason then they need someone to give it to them straight.

Ashleycat, I am angry at your choices, but I do not hate you. I know everyone's situations are different, but your problems are very big and I believe you are taking them way too lightly.

Here, here. Harsh? There is a 2 year old child involved in this situation. This situation calls for harsh. Heck, it probably calls for CPS. All too often we read about these situations in the paper, or see them on the news- with horific endings. I won't ever back off my 'harsh' comments when it comes to those with no voices.


If only soft words and candlelight could make it all go away. If only.

[Vela]

And do you really think those things you say are going to be listened to when you "attack" someone? I never said I didn't agree with what was said, but tact needs to be involved when trying to explains things like that or help someone in a situation like that, namely the child the most. Spewing forth words in that way are going to get you ignored in most cases, it turns people off of listening to you if they feel attacked. I never said you guys didn't have valid points, and I agree with most of them as well, but delivery is as important as the words you say, that is what I meant. You won't "help" anyone, most of all the child, by coming across that way. Like I already mentioned, I understand completely why hearing that stuff would make everyone upset, it IS upsettting. My greatest concern are for the baby, the pets, and then Ashley herself, but you won't get heard by going about things that way. We also only hear one side of things, so we really can't make a real "judgement" on the situation. I want everyone involved to get counseling and help before something bad happens, but yelling at or belittling someone who is already in a bad spot generally is not going to help, but can only make the situation worse and drive them farther down. I wish the best for everyone, and like I said I wasn't picking on anyone in particular, just trying to explain why that really won't help, to say things that way.