I've read this and just didn't know what to say. But I didn't want you to think I didn't care, either. I'm sorry your relationship is suffering. Do you think she would ever agree to go to counseling with you? I think you both could benefit from it and maybe it would clear the air. Seems like you both have a different definition of caring, maybe? Or maybe she doesn't want to realise how bad it's gotten and that's why she changes the conversation on you.