I am going to try to say these things just as gently as I possibly can.

You want your Mother to love you.
You want your Mother to listen to you.
You want to spend quality time with your Mother.
You want her to invite you to dinner and mean it.
You want her to remember what you say to her
and have her respond.
You want your Mother to respect you as her daughter.
You want your Mother to care about your feelings.

and again..........

You want your Mother to love you.

It does not seem as though your Mother is capable of giving you
any of the above.

You cannot will or wish or dream or wave a magic wand to make your Mother
what you want her to be.

As a result this then becomes YOUR problem. Believe me I don't mean this harshly in any way. You cannot change her or fix her so having her go to a counselor with you will not solve YOUR problem. She clearly has problems, but first she has to recognize that she DOES have problems for HER to deal with her own and you can't, no matter how hard you try, lead her to face them.

You are so deliciously young - and have your whole life ahead of you and it is urgent that you break this cycle - or it will continue for years - you constantly being hurt and trying to figure out why your Mother cannot be different and be the Mom you want. It will interfere with all other relationships you may have in the future.

Yes, it is very difficult to get counseling - why? Because it is painful to get to the depth of your feelings. But that is where the answers for you will come from. You own these feelings - and you need to be able to understand them and feel them.

For your own future well being I hope you will consider counseling because you can be provided with new ideas and ways to handle your thoughts and relationship with your Mother and be able to deal with the depression that comes after an encounter with her. This is YOUR life - not HERS and you deserve to have a healthy outlook on life and be happy.

Is it possible for you to sit down on a one to one with your Dad and ask him questions about your Mom? He just might be able to give you some insight into why she is the way she is - even a little information could be helpful to you.

I feel for you - your writings are so heartfelt - direct - and clear. I would encourage you to start a journal - and write what you feel - those thoughts that you don't share with anyone. This would be YOUR journal and in it you can say whatever you want, no matter how awful it may seem to put down on paper.

I wish you courage and you will be included in my prayers.