Stupid things people say. . ..

[Catty1]

Comedian Steven Wright has a whole whack of sayings:

"Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together?"

"I used to work in a fire hydrant factory - but you couldn't park anywhere near the place."

PM me if you want a whole list....sorry I have no creative ones myself.

OH - was doing a transcription my boss left on a tape - he was in a hurry, and out came this gem: "I hope you understand that my professional reputation and my heart are in this thing with both feet."

I didn't edit it - I printed it out and HIGHLIGHTED it!

[buttercup132]

Comedian Steven Wright has a whole whack of sayings:

"Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together?"

"I used to work in a fire hydrant factory - but you couldn't park anywhere near the place."

PM me if you want a whole list....sorry I have no creative ones myself.

OH - was doing a transcription my boss left on a tape - he was in a hurry, and out came this gem: "I hope you understand that my professional reputation and my heart are in this thing with both feet."

I didn't edit it - I printed it out and HIGHLIGHTED it!

Oh man those two were funny!! LOL
I think you should post the list!!

[Cincy'sMom]

"

"Your not that old"-Well how old is that old???

A "friend" got me on something similar a few weeks ago. He is one of our sales reps and I called to see if he had information about a particular client. He asked if they had done work with us before and I laughed in said yeah in the late 80's. He comments that he was in middle school then, I said me too...'87 would have been about 5th-6th grade. He says "No...you aren't that young!

What the heck was that supposed to mean??? (And for the record, he is 2 years older then me!)

Of course, it was late in the day and I was in a hurry to get off the phone and go home, so it didn't hit what he said until I hung up. I emailed right away and asked what he meant by that...his reply? "You heard me"

I can't say I called him a very nice name after that

[RedHedd]

OH - was doing a transcription my boss left on a tape - he was in a hurry, and out came this gem: "I hope you understand that my professional reputation and my heart are in this thing with both feet."

I didn't edit it - I printed it out and HIGHLIGHTED it!

LOL! I do that too when my boss dictates something that makes me LOL. I call those "dicto's" Sometimes when I'm feeling particularly mischievous, I won't highlight it just to see if he'll catch it.

[Karen]

"Break a leg"-Never did quite understand that one.

OOooh - I can answer that. In theatre circles, telling a performer "good luck" before the show is considered the ultimate in BAD luck. So instead, one traditionally says "break a leg" which means 'good luck' but sounds like bad luck, so you aren't jinxing the performer.

[Pam]

I'm glad someone started this thread up again since I missed it when it began.

Recently when my son left the house I said "drive carefully." Somehow I always feel the need to say that. He said "Gee, Mom I am glad you said that because I was planning to drive recklessly."

My pet peeve is hearing people say that poodles are sissy dogs.

[Pam]

When I tell people to enjoy their meal and they say "You too"

Anna, for some reason this really cracked me up.

[CathyBogart]

I'm guilty of saying "you too" at inappropriate times.

I also tell my boyfriend to be careful almost every time he leaves on his motorcycle. Like what, he's going to go out and try to crash it? I dunno what goes through my head.

My mom was out shopping and bought some whipping cream. The clerk goes "Oh, what do you do with Whipping cream?" ....My mom says "...you make whipped cream..." Clerk: "Oooh, how do you do that?" Mom: "...you whip it."

I hate hate HATE it when I tell people I want to start riding a motorcycle and they tell me...

"noo, you shouldn't do that, they're dangerous" Right, like I don't know they're dangerous. Thank you for enlightening me with your superior knowledge.

"Oooh, I knew this guy who knew a guy who [describes horrible motorcycle crash]" EVERYONE knows someone who knows someone who has crashed, I DO NO WANT TO HEAR IT EVERY TIME IT COMES UP IN CONVERSATION! I would bet that everyone also knows someone who knows someone who died in a car accident, but people don't torture others looking at getting their car license like this!

Last one...Frequently, when I'm at the dog park, someone will pet Jasper and go "oooh, he's SO SKINNY!" (No, he is NOT, it's not my fault people can't recognize a dog in good condition) "Do you feed him?" Last time I got that I looked at the lady, totally aghast, and said "OMG, you mean you have to FEED THEM?!" It's not my fault her dogs were fat.

[Sara luvs her Tinky]

YOU AINT HAD THAT BABY YET?!?

I can't tell you how that GOT ON MY LAST NERVE. I work in the shipping office and we have a lot of regular drivers that come in.. and EVERY one of em would ask me that... and being huge and pregnant... I can't tell you how bad i wanted to choke them and yell at em!! Yeah einstien ... i had it..

and it wasnt' just the drivers.. everyone in the warehouse too... I worked up untill my due date and I swear every day i would get at least 1 person every hour ask me.. "YOU AINT HAD THAT BABY YET?!?" MORONS!!!!

[Sara luvs her Tinky]

another one from work that i *HATE*
(I know this makes me sound like a grouch)

I HATE IT when drivers come to my window and tell me to smile.
I mean really!!!! who sits around at their job all day smiling!?!?!?!?!?
Do they drive around in their truck all day smiling non stop!?!?!? NOOOOOO

[Cinder & Smoke]

"Do you feed him?"

Last time I got that I looked at the lady, totally aghast, and
said "OMG, you mean you have to FEED THEM?!"

GREAT come-back line!!

Sure wish I could think that fast!