Sue - I don't know you really really well....is Joe a partner or boyfriend? Is be being supportive with all this?

I PM'd you with the only advice I can think of - if therapy is expensive, I know it is - is there a 12 step group or other self-help that can give you a place to go and be with people who are in the same boat? That can be really conforting, to know you're not all alone.

HUGS