I have cancer....the road to recovery

**jenluckenbach** · 08-23-2006, 06:54 PM

Slick, I too was waiting for reality to sink in. SURE, your head is strong, you know you can and WILL fight this.......but your heart must sink at some point. Wondering WHY? HOW? that's OK. it is normal. And here is where we all get to help you some. We can be your strength whenever you feel too weak.

We love you Slick....have you figured that out yet?

**lbaker** · 08-23-2006, 08:21 PM

When you can't even see your own footsteps, it's because we are all there carrying you, dear person, dearer friend and sister I never I had but do now

**dukedogsmom** · 08-23-2006, 09:24 PM

I'm so glad I stopped by. I'm sure it's totally normal how you're feeling. Just don't let it get you down forever. I think you're doing so good! And I'm glad you told us how you were feeling. We can be stronger for you when you cannot. Keep your chin up and good luck tomorrow! I'm glad you've found a good person to clean your house. Don't work too much tonight. You need your rest.

**kuhio98** · 08-23-2006, 09:41 PM

slick ~ It will be okay. You just needed to get your emotions out. I also wondered when it would "hit". Not that you were in denial, 'cuz you weren't. But, the enormous reality of it takes time to sink in. Then, you put it into perspective. It's not bigger than you. You can handle it. It will not control you. You are a fighter. We will be here for you. You're not going through it alone. It sucks! You don't "deserve" it. No one does.

Okay, deep cleansing breath. Big bear hug. Better now?

Until the next time you need to cry. Go ahead. It will wash your fears away.

**RedHedd** · 08-23-2006, 10:21 PM

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{SLICK}}}}}}}}}}}}} Yup it hits us all at different stages in the process and you're right on track on your path. Go ahead and cry, girl. And if/when the anger hits a punching bag is good or go somewhere where you can yell and scream - driving in the car alone was good for me. But don't try and drive and cry - been there, done that .... not a good thing

Just before I was diagnosed I had taken a women's self-defense course - one of those model-mugging things where you learn street-wise self-defense. Shortly thereafter I was diagnosed with invasive breast cancer and soon after my diagnosis I had a dream - in the dream I was beating the C**p out of my cancer - kicking and hitting and screaming and really giving my cancer everything I had learned in that course. That dream carried me through my cancer ordeal - through all the scans, surgeries, and doctors appointments, I just keep visualizing myself kicking the s**t out of my tumors.

I don't know if my visualizations worked or the treatments or a combination of both - it sure was cathartic for me to do all I could from MY end of the picture. I still hold the visual of that dream in my heart and use it from time to time when life gets difficult.

Be gentle with yourself. Let us carry you cuz that's what we're all here for.

**pnance** · 08-23-2006, 11:38 PM

Slick don't worry, crying is a way to let go and believe it or not relax. If you keep everything bottled up it will only get worse and not help yourself at all. You have lot's of people who care for you and sounds like a good support team there. It's ok to cry once in awhile and remember you have your friends and family who are there with a strong shoulder to lean on. In my entire life my mom was always strong, I never saw her break down or cry. She was diagnosed with breast cancer almost 15 years ago That was the first and last time I actually saw her shaken. Bottom line she drew strength from friends and family and has been cancer free for all these years. I have no doubt you have the strength and will to make it through this time and look forward to the future. Take care of yourself and don't worry about what needs to be done around the house, you'll have plenty of time to take of that once your well again.