A moment of clarity

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Thanks guys - I've got some great friends here.

I think that the reason for this particular "fug" is that I have worked so hard recently to get my finances under control, paid off my mail order catalogue balance, paid some of my mobile bill in advance etc etc only to be right back at square one because a client went on holiday without settling my invoice. This means bank charges, bills not being paid on time and there's nothing I can do about it!

This led to a "why do I bother" moment on Friday, which in turn led to having more to drink than I wanted - I wasn't ill or anything just turned into the loud, brash, life and soul that I loathe.........which gave me my moment of clarity. Dad would be so proud I feel I've let you all down too

[Dorothy39]

We have all been there, Brodysmum!!!


At times , life becomes sooooo frustrating, I can relate to that moment of clarity.

And, You did not let us down. You tightened your grip. You returned a favor , so to speak, because , we have all been there!!!! We know the feeling!!!

Another Great Reply, posted by Brodysmum!!!!

Don't forget your second wind!!!! And, remember, You won't get out of this life, alive!!! So, live it up!!!!!
You are a great Pet Talk Member, all the same!!!!!

[Laura's Babies]

Cheers to you!! I send you good thought, lots of cheer and go look at this and I gurantee it will make you laugh!! http://67.15.70.205/talk/showthread.php?t=110824

Remember, tomorrow is a new day, a new chance for a new start.

[Catty1]

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation-some fact of my life-unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation exactly the way it supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God´s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life´s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

"Shakespeare said, ´All the world´s a stage and all the men and women merely players.´ He forgot to mention that I was the chief critic. I was always able to see the flaw in every person, every situation. And I was always glad to point it out, because I knew you wanted perfection just as I did. AA and acceptance have taught me that there´s a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we are all children of God and we each have a right to be here. When I complain about me or about you, I´m complaining about God´s handiwork. I am saying that I know better than God."
- from the book Alcoholics Anonymous


Accepting things has NOTHING to do with liking what is happening. Expectations of what was supposed to happen, as opposed to what actually does, can throw me into a sobriety-threatening situation. EXPECTATIONS - the idea that people will follow a script I have unintentionally written - is a killer for me.

What really concerns me is that you drank over this.

I have yet to meet a situation, thank God, that made we want to drink. And that includes seeing my father and my sister die before my eyes - and being there with my family and being able to be present.

And that is not my doing...I had been given the gift of real sobriety, and for that I am grateful.

'God grant me the grace not to 'should' on myself (and everyone else).'

HUGS!

[Pawsitive Thinking]

What really concerns me is that you drank over this.

Me too - although it was a conscious decision to have more than I should have done if that makes any sense. I knew when to go home so didn't stay out drinking for the sake of it.

There are other issues apart from finances that are drowning me but I don't feel brave enough to admit to them at the moment (if ever). All I know is that certain things are bringing me down and making me ill and if it wasn't for my animals getting out of bed would be a struggle again.

Tobey, bless him, has certainly noticed my "glums" - he brought me his ball to play fetch on Saturday and he hasn't done that since the arrival of Archie, cue tears..............

Thank you for all your lovely replies and hugs

[JenBKR]

Oh Denise, we could not be let down by this. We are here for you, to support you, no matter what. We won't be disappointed, we love you for you. You have so many fantastic qualities, especially your sense of humor. You can always make me chuckle (or laugh out loud, causing everyone at work to give me some odd looks). I don't know what else is going on in your life that has you down but if you ever need to talk you know I'll be up for an MSN chat. ((((hugs))))

[Catty1]

Please keep talking here...and please see your doctor, hon! It's great that you know you need to change - but with a lot of people, including me, it didn't happen without some expert guidance! My best thinking got me to where I was - and it's okay when changing is not a do-it-yourself job.

You might have one of those marvellous 'chemical imbalances' - easily treated. Please check this out.

Don't isolate with 'all the other things'.

You are #1 - take care of you!