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Thread: In need of PT Support...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Calgary, Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    4,789

    In need of PT Support...

    I hate to be a bother and ask for support yet again. But here's the deal. I let Brad come back last Tuesday and he left today. Like a coward, he packed up his stuff after I'd gone to work and left. I let him back into my heart and he's stomped it again. At first I was really angry and now I'm really sad and hurt.
    Gayle - self proclaimed Queen of Poop
    Mommy to: Cali (14 year old kitten)
    (RB furbabies: Rascal RB 10/11/03 (ferret), Sami RB 24/02/04 (dog), Trouble RB 10/08/05 (ferret), Miko RB 20/01/06 (ferret) and Sebastian RB 12/12/06(ferret), Sasha RB 17/10/09 (border collie cross), Diego RB 04/12/21

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    22,005
    Gayle...it hurts like hell now. But that idiot has done you the biggest favour in the world.

    Not to even judge him as a person - that is not cool.

    But look at his ACTIONS - what he has done, and NOT done.

    It doesn't feel like it now - but you are free.

    Like the greeting card says, when he crawls back saying how stupid he has been - AGREE with him!

    Then slam the door in his face.

    And take care of that heart of yours. It is a big and loving one, and deserves the best in YOUR life.

    You have my phone #. Latte's on me!

    HUGS!
    "Do or do not. There is no try." -- Yoda

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Chicago area, Illinois, USA
    Posts
    1,586
    QOP,

    First of all, I'm sorry that you're in pain and angry and sad.

    I've not posted before for you as I don't have children or stepchildren...others here seemed to have more to suggest.

    But...I did have an ON and OFF and ON and OFF and ON and OFF and ON and OFF relationship over five years with someone and I can tell you that ending that turmoil of YO-YO emotional upheavals permanently was the best thing that ever happened to me.

    It hurts, I know. But now you can start recovering from the pain. Right now. Tonight. You're a sweet person and you deserve better.

    As for Brad...DON'T LET THE SCREEN DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT!

    Pat

    P.S. Have you ever heard about those afflicted with the Peter Pan syndrome? (I don't wanna grow up)
    Spoiled child, bad
    Spoiled cat, good

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    Windham, Vermont, USA
    Posts
    40,861
    Snding you big hugs and lots of support. Next time he asks to come back, tell him he cannot - you already broke his dinnerplate, throwing at the door after he left.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2000
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA USA
    Posts
    12,031
    The sadness and the hurt will go away and be healed.

    What you haven't yet experienced is the pure euphoria that he is out of your life. It will come!

    Hugs to you.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Bexhill, UK
    Posts
    8,815
    Every day will get easier - you will be soooooooo much better off without him {{{{hugs}}}}
    Give £1 for a poundie www.songfordogs.co.uk

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Tabbyville, PA
    Posts
    15,827
    I am so sorry you're sad and hurt right now, but the others are right. You do not need a guy who doesn't have enough concern for you to leave while facing you. He slithered out to avoid hurting you. He is not a man. Leave yourself free to find a man who will treat you with the respect and consideration you deserve.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Fort Wayne, Indiana
    Posts
    2,476
    Queen of Poop, I am sorry that you are hurting. And I can understand what you are going through, as I have been through something very similiar. When I was married (I have been divorced now for about 5 years), he was always walking out, and then he would come back... no explanation. When I would try to talk about it, he would walk away, saying that I should just be happy that he came back. He was always threatening me with divorce. This was through 8 years of marriage. And I always let him come back, believing that it was me that was the reason he would leave.

    Well, one day I had had enough... and I left! After months of therapy, I realized that he was so controlling that he had made me believe that I was the problem, when all along, it was him! I also realized that the "Welcome, walk all over me" mat had been removed from my forehead! And while I hurt for months and months, I realize now that I am a better person without him. I am happier and have learned about what real relationships are. Do I miss him? Sometimes. But I think that it mostly is missing having someone in my life.... not the crap I put myself through for 8 years! I now realize that I was in love with the idea of being in love and being married.... and not that I was in love with him. Hard pill to swallow.... but I am glad to be the person that I am now! After a few months, I was visiting my parents, and they said, "Welcome back." I was confused, but they explained that I was a different person when I was with him... sad and obviously depressed. They were glad to have their "Donna" back... the one who loves life and lives it to the fullest!

    So what am I saying?? It will take time, but you will get over this breakup. Be strong. Get therapy if you need it. There is nothing to be embarrassed about in needing some professional (and unbiased) help! Gain the strength you need to not allow him to come back. Be grateful for the good times that you had, but know that you both must move on. Life is too short to be miserable and unhappy.

    PM me if you would like. I DO understand. It is hard, but you can do it! (((hugs))) Donna

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    22,005
    Donna's comment reminded me of the saying: "I don't mind being a doormat, but I draw the line at wall-to-wall carpeting!"

    HUGS!
    "Do or do not. There is no try." -- Yoda

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Calgary, Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    4,789
    Quote Originally Posted by Catty1
    Donna's comment reminded me of the saying: "I don't mind being a doormat, but I draw the line at wall-to-wall carpeting!"

    HUGS!

    Now that's funny!!! Thank you.

    And Thank you everyone. This is the roughest time I've ever had. My heart is still in a million pieces, but you've all picked me up a bit.
    Gayle - self proclaimed Queen of Poop
    Mommy to: Cali (14 year old kitten)
    (RB furbabies: Rascal RB 10/11/03 (ferret), Sami RB 24/02/04 (dog), Trouble RB 10/08/05 (ferret), Miko RB 20/01/06 (ferret) and Sebastian RB 12/12/06(ferret), Sasha RB 17/10/09 (border collie cross), Diego RB 04/12/21

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