This is serious - what can I do?

[BOBS DAD]

As someone who grew up around a group home : I'm sorry to say this but someone has got to call Child Services on this one. It would probably almost kill your aunt emotionally but if what you say is true you need to look out for your cousins best interest. (IMHO)

sad situation... but i agree with you andie

[catnapper]

The problem is my aunt... if she would actually commit suicide, then I'd have her death on my conscious. I'm really lost. I know Denise needs outside help... now more so than ever. My aunt needs help, but she doesn't know it. She's dysfunctinal at best.

Mom was ready to hit my aunt today. Mom went early to help set things up for the shower (its her son's girlfriend who's expecting the baby) and my aunt apparently just sat there chain smoking and didn't set up anything. She just let mom do everything. The mom of the mom-to-be did the same. After mom threatened to toss a pitcher of water over her cigarette because she shouldn't be smoking where babies and pregnant women would be at the shower, mom told her to hire a caterer next time (go mom! She typically lets people walk all over her). Mom then high-tailed it outta there when I left just because she knew if she didn't, that she'd have been made to clean up too. Mom is pretty sure they left the place a mess. I can't remember the last time I saw mom that mad! Maybe I can get her to call CS and file a complaint at the same tie I do.... if we do it together then we would both be doing it and neither would be responsible for anything if my aunt commited suicide. Believe me, the threat of suicide is real.

[Andie]

Believe me, the threat of suicide is real.

Then your aunt needs just as much help as your cousin does. Believe me I know what it's like to live under the fear of sending someone to the brink but you will feel so much better knowing that you did the right thing.


PS: Please feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to. I may not be online every day but I do check my messages and respond often.

[Catty1]

Of course, when you phone CS (not if), you will tell the people there about the very real threat of suicide.

They've dealt with these things a lot more than you or I have.

Chances are, they would deal with your aunt before they deal with Denise.

They both need help, and I hope they each get it. Miracles happen every day!

HUGS

[emily_the_spoiled]

If your aunt is a danger to herself, then you/your mother can try and have her committed. This will generally give you 72 hours (depending on the state) where she would be under observation. I know that is not the ideal solution, but your cousin needs help NOW.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Sounds to me like that are both in need of a lot of help and you are in the position to get the ball rolling for them.......make that call, its the right thing to do

[sasvermont]

Jezzzzzzze. What a mess. Sounds like intervention is needed. I would call someone....maybe your aunt can get help for her depression. What a horrible situation.

I was just joking about moving and not leaving a forwarding phone number etc.

[VTJess03]

The problem is my aunt... if she would actually commit suicide, then I'd have her death on my conscious. ... and neither would be responsible for anything if my aunt commited suicide. Believe me, the threat of suicide is real.

(Sorry for the long response, all)

You can only be responsible for you. You can do something about Denise's situation, since she's a minor, but your aunt has to make her own decision. Please don't blame yourself for something that someone else decides or worry about that decision. Trust me, I have been struggling with a suicidal (soon-to-be-ex-)husband who has actually looked me square in the face and asked me to take a shotgun and kill him (and yes, he was serious...not just emotional, having a fight over-reaction type of stuff, like we both are/were prone to anyway). We are separated now, in part because of this...he has attempted to take his own life 5-6 times now, according to what little he will tell me, and he blames me for a lot of the relationship problems we've had (and yes, I'm partly to blame, but his recently diagnosed bi-polar and clinical depression have contributed also...2 sides to every story). If he chooses to end his life now, I refuse to bear that guilt on my conscience...he is an adult who has to make an adult decision whether to continue or end his own life and no one else can decide that for him.

You can help a minor whether they want help or not, but you can't help an adult unless they choose to accept that help. If you really think she's a danger to herself, have her committed (as someone else has suggested), but until she chooses to recognize her own mental instability, she will be untreatable. It took my almost-ex about 3-4 years to admit that he had bipolar, even though I'd been trying to get him to see someone about his behavioral/temper problems for almost that long.

[krazyaboutkatz]

Kim, I also agree that an intervention is needed. Please do something before you regret it.