An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front
porch, reflecting on her long life, when -- all of a sudden -- a
fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she
will be granted three wishes.

"Well, now," says the old lady, "I guess I would like to be
really rich."

*** POOF *** Her rocking chair turns to solid gold.

"And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful
princess."

*** POOF *** She turns into a beautiful young woman.

"Your third wish?" asked the fairy godmother. Just then the old
woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them.

"Ooh -- can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks.

*** POOF *** There before her stands a young man more handsome
than anyone could possibly imagine.

She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees
weak, he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear:

"Bet you're sorry you had me neutered."


--------------------------------------------------





Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor
peered over the fence.

Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he
politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?"

"My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up,
"and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a
goldfish, isn't it?"

Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's
because he's inside your stupid cat."






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