My situation is really different in some ways.. but I am going through the death of my relationship with my husband, the man whom for 11 years I have felt was my soulmate. The pain is indescribable, excruciating, harder than anything I've gone through in my life. So I do feel I know a measure of the pain in your heart, the fear, insecurity, and devastation. If you need to talk, I'm only a PM away. You are in my thoughts, and in my prayers. Please hold onto the fact that you are a very special person, a worthy person, and deserving of the same kind of love you feel for your husband. You have us here at PT, and are not alone. Never forget that.