Why couldn't I just...

[Sevaede]

caseysmom and Karen said everything that I wanted to say.

*hug*

[gini]

I read your post and Karen's that followed last night. I didn't respond, but I woke up this morning thinking about you.

I really do not like the fact that your husband is calling all of the shots - and treating you this way. It sounds far too controlling and certainly doesn't set up a united front to deal with HIS kids.

Allow NO ONE to put you down or make you feel like a horrible person. Try to remember this - if you can - you know down deep that YOU ARE a good person.

If he makes you feel horrible - or the children do - then YOU ARE ALLOWING them to do this.

It sounds as though it is you against all of them - and I don't like that one bit.

It may take some intense family counselling (that's all of you) to unravel
what has happened here.

If I were in your situation, I sure would need some quiet time too. If he doesn't understand that.........then I really question who he is.

You are NOT a possession - you are his wife!

Forgive my bluntness please, this has really bothered me.

[Corinna]

Gini I was seeing the same thing.
QOP your relationship sounds like it's a toxic mix. Why did you first marry this man? you need to find that true answer and see if you REALLY feel the same way. I am seeing this same type of thing with my daughter , Please make sure you don't get pregnate to save the marraige that NEVER works (daughter starting to figure it out too late) . People grow and some times they don't grow at the same rate or some just stop . May I ask if he is older than you and how much so if so?
I beleive until death do us part but death can be the death of a relation ship. To me it sounds as if you are being mentally abused , you need to decide if you want this the rest of your life it won't get any better. You can survive this just look how far our Jess has come since leaving her relationship with Rob. You are the only one who can say enough is enough and think of your self.
PS I have been married to the same man for 27 years and have no step kids but we were being trained to be family councilers for our church before our move to Montana . We have not always been lovey dovey but we always went back to Why we got married and saw it was still why we wanted to be so. It made us go back and date to remind us of the why.

[Queen of Poop]

Gini I was seeing the same thing.
QOP your relationship sounds like it's a toxic mix. Why did you first marry this man? you need to find that true answer and see if you REALLY feel the same way. I am seeing this same type of thing with my daughter , Please make sure you don't get pregnate to save the marraige that NEVER works (daughter starting to figure it out too late) . People grow and some times they don't grow at the same rate or some just stop . May I ask if he is older than you and how much so if so?
I beleive until death do us part but death can be the death of a relation ship. To me it sounds as if you are being mentally abused , you need to decide if you want this the rest of your life it won't get any better. You can survive this just look how far our Jess has come since leaving her relationship with Rob. You are the only one who can say enough is enough and think of your self.
PS I have been married to the same man for 27 years and have no step kids but we were being trained to be family councilers for our church before our move to Montana . We have not always been lovey dovey but we always went back to Why we got married and saw it was still why we wanted to be so. It made us go back and date to remind us of the why.

I married him because he spun a good yarn. He promised me the world, then changed his mind. Said I didn't deserve it. The relationship is very toxic, and I suppose some separation time could work out. He wants to date me, says we moved along too fast. We only dated 5 months before he moved in with me. He is 40, as am I. He's 3 months and 5 days younger than I. No chance on the pregnancy thing, I'm too old and too smart for that. He says I am too insecure and that is hurting us. If you've read the whole thread then you know that he's demanded family counselling. I intend to push for that to happen right fast. We all need it.

[Prairie Purrs]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. And I hope your husband goes through with the family counseling, and that it makes a real difference in your entire family's relationship. But if he backs out of counseling, or if he keeps insisting that everything wrong is your fault because you're too "insecure," then it doesn't sound like a relationship that you'd really want to continue.

I spent seven years in an emotionally wrenching relationship, during which my ex insisted that everything that was wrong between us was the result of my battles with chronic depression. And this was coming from someone who had been diagnosed as bipolar! He finally told me that he had to move out because my "insecurities" were causing him too much stress. Well, it turned out that he moved out because he was cheating on me and wanted to move in with the other woman.

I'm certainly not suggesting that your situation is the same. What I am saying is to watch out for anybody who tries to blame you for his relationship shortcomings. It's a cruel and selfish thing for someone to do.