Update on my mom...

[JenBKR]

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this. It can't be easy to have to take care of your mom like that. Thank goodness that your family is wiling to step in and help - maybe your mom can get the help she needs. ((((hugs)))) If you ever need someone to talk to please PM me!

[CagneyDog]

Thanks everyone. I really, really appreciate the replies. It's hard for my to get to Alateen meetings because I need to get a ride a fair way into a larger city but I have a friend who is willing to drive me. There really isn't an update yet, my grandma did talk to the doctor but we are still deciding on how we could confront her about it and make her realize that we care and also make her stop denying it. Any ideas?

I pm'd you k9karen.

[Catty1]

Cagneydog - what you and your family are doing is great...sometimes it helps a person to know they are not fooling anyone any more.

What your family is planning is called an "intervention". These are often done with the help of an addictions counsellor. This person is there to keep a handle on things - and is indispensable in guiding the family beforehand.

The doctor might be able to put you in touch with someone, or if other members of the family have contacted treatment centres, those centres would have someone too.

If your mom agrees to get help - some hospital stay might be necessary for the withdrawl, and also to check on the general state of her health.

An intervention shows that everyone knows - and CARES!

Good luck!

Catty1

[RedHedd]

Cagneydog, you're showing great courage in taking the steps you have. I know it's not easy. My friends cared enough about me many years ago to do an intervention on me and it worked. Somehow I was ready to hear what they had to say. I have to encourage you to keep taking the steps you're taking. My doctors knew I was alcoholic long before I did; many of them didn't say anything because they didn't know what or how to say it. Now, years later, one doctor in particular asks me for help when he has an alcoholic patient. Keep up the good work and let us know how it goes.

[CagneyDog]

I really appreciate the replies. Catty1, I don't think we'll have an intervention counsellor. It's hard to find all of that where I live.

So, my mom is going to go to the doctor sometime in the next few days to pick up a new prescription and the doctor will talk to her then.

It's getting so discouraging. She admitted that she had a problem to my dad on the phone a few days ago, but she is back to denying it again.

My dad got her bank statement last month and she had bought 20 bottles of vodka in 1 month. That means that on average some of those bottles didn't even last a day.

I talked with my dad about it last night and apparently this is a large reason why she lost her job, and her marriage. Her drinking has been going on a lot longer than I thouht, but on and off.

What if she dies before we're able to help her

[animal_rescue]

I really hope your mom gets the help soon and I'm glad your family is so caring and willing to pitch in for it.

I'm praying for you, your family, and your mom. I hope she gets the help soon!

[Catty1]

If she does die before she stops?

Remember this: You didn't start her drinking, and you can't stop her. Only she can stop herself, byt getting the help necessary. As they say in AA: "It takes what it takes."

Take all the blame out for you. She is sick. This might run in her family.

If she was diabetic, you wouldn't blame yourself, right?

Alcoholism is an illness too.

Of COURSE this is emotional and horrible for you. Just kick the guilt out, cause you have enough to deal with.

hugs
Catty1

[DrKym]

I know how hard this is for you. Please make sure your friend gets you to the alateen meetings. If her physician cannot broach it with her (and he might not be able to HIPPA laws) he can recommend therapy. Please understand that there are a lot of resources out there to get help from. You cannot control anothers behavior but you can control yours. I am not sure if you are in school or a minor if so please make sure that you and the rest of the family make the school aware of the issue,there are organizations that they can contact to help her. Unless she hits "bottom" she won't benefit from help and only she will know what her "bottom" is. Our family will keep you in our prayers.