I wouldn't want to be an unhealthy ruler of dairy queen, after all.
This little episode really made me feel like checking off that "No" box. It just didn't feel right though, I couldn't do it. A thought suddenly occurred to me. It scared me, because this thought was so evil, it could do more damage than I had ever imagined. I was scared to think more of it, but it wouldn't go away. What if I were to draw my own maybe section? It could go right in the middle of the yes and no columns. It seemed like a plausible idea, yet I felt so guilty.
This was a devilish thing to do, perhaps this was part of my training on becoming an evil dairy queen ruler. I felt bad as I did it, but decided I needed to take the risk. G.I. Joe would have been proud, I told myself.
As I checked off that maybe box I felt confident I could continue on with this exam. I looked on to the next question. "Had my food been good?" Well, after this whole ordeal, it was hard to remember. I thought and thought and thought but I could not remember. I couldn't put a no down, because what if it was good and that poor pimply teenager got beaten for it? But I couldn't put a yes because what if it had little ants in it that somehow got in there? Plus I was pretty sure it was contaminated. I thought it through and through, and though it was a tough decision, I decided I needed to check off the maybe box yet again.
I continued on with this miserable exam until I reached the bottom. It said a little note, "thank you for your comments, we appreciate them and hope to see you again soon."
A strange comment for the ordeal I just went through, I figured. I thought about leaving my phone number at the end…but then remembered that maybe column, and decided it would be better not to. I wouldn't want angry dairy queen workers to phone me in the middle of the night, demanding to know the reason for that blasphemy.
As I dropped the card into the plastic container, a new feeling came over me. It was a feeling of accomplishment and great pride. I had just filled out a dairy queen comment card. I felt like I was invincible. I could do anything. if I could get past that, then what else could there possibly be to stop me? Nothing, I knew. This had been the best day of my life. My heart had sunk yes, but my character had been built higher. So high, infact. I was a whole new person.
It then occurred to me that it took an awful long time for my friend and her mother to make it back from the washroom. The dreaded feeling of panic overtook me once again. Had they been kidnapped? And had my thoughts on the intentions of this ploy been wrong after all? Was it really a great big plan to steal the tarnowetzki's? I knew something had to be done. I marched my way to the bathroom. Both stalls were closed. Something was fishy about this. With my feeling of invinciality, I gave a loud, manly roaring noise. I did my wing chong kung fu kick and smacked down that handicapped door faster than you could say deepfry.
I soon learned not all my plans are good. I saw a little old lady sitting there, petrified to death. What was this crazy mad woman doing, going into the bathroom and roaring like an albino Christmas tree? I said my apologies, sincere as they were I don't think she was convinced. I ran out of that place and out the door, wondering a tad why the cops hadn't been called yet.
As I protruded myself out the door I noticed a little red car sitting quaintly in the parking lot. How odd, I thought. I decided to test out my sneakiness and crouched up on it, peering into the windows. I saw 2 mad people and I recognized them. I slowly and ashamedly opened the door and went in. I gave a feeble excuse of 'filling out a comment card'. It seemed they had been waiting all that time. I then heard them muttering and cursing under their breath. I could only hear a few words here and there, but I'm pretty sure that I was no longer invited to do anything with them and should never be allowed to be set loose in public without high supervision. It hurt my feelings and I thought angrily, they could have helped me! But then I remembered it was I who had been chosen, not them.
I was the one chosen for the daunting and horrible task of filling out that card, not them. I was the one that was the better, stronger, more able one. It was only normal of them to be jealous after all. I was invincible, they weren't. I'm not sure if they were aware of that yet, but it was only a matter of time. It was only a matter of time until I put the ingredients of my plan together and finished cooking up my devilish ploy of taking over dairy queen.
Soon everybody would know my name. I would become famous in the world, and would be worshipped by everybody.
As we drove away I felt a pang in my heart. It was kind of a strange pang, it kept re-occurring. I figured it was an empty and lonely feeling, from being driven away from that white plastic box. It wasn't until later that I realized it was actually the rubber band having a hay day in my midsection, bouncing it self here and there and getting to know my white blood cells.
This is the end of my story. This is where I say I then woke up and it was all a dream, right? Wrong. Alas, no, this is a true story. Its one week later and my plan is already boiling in the pot. If I seem like a different person, you now know why. I hope that you keep a copy of this safe because it will be worth millions when the days of my reign are over. Of course that won't be for a long time, but its worth keeping, if even to pass on to your children.
A warning now though, I will be very disappointed if I see this on ebay and I may just use you as an unsuspecting customer some day. of course you wont get the invincible feeling or anything, just all the weirdness.
So long and goodnight.
ETA: Please comment if you read it. I'd like to know what you think, even if its not that long of a comment. I know some will find it strange, just tell me what you all think.
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I write random things all the time, too.. 
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