I have two! Here they are!

Dangerous Mule

Farmer Jake had a nagging wife who made his life miserable. The only real
peace that he got was when he was out in the field plowing. One day when he
was out in the field, Jake's wife brought his lunch to him.

Then she stayed while he quietly ate and berated him with a constant stream of
nagging and complaining. Suddenly, Jake's old mule kicked up his back legs,
striking the wife in the head, and killing her instantly.

At the wake, Jake's minister noticed that when the women offered sympathy to
Jake he would nod his head up and down. But when the men came up and
spoke quietly to him, he would shake his head from side to side.

When the wake was over and all the mourners had left, the minister
approached Jake and asked, "Why was it that you nodded your head up and
down to all the women and shook your head from side to side to all the men?"

"Well," Jake replied, "The women all said how nice she looked, and her dress
was so pretty, so I agreed by nodding my head up and down. The men all
asked, "Is that mule for sale!?"
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The Observant Tonto

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are camping in the desert, set up their tent and are asleep.

Some hours later, The Lone Ranger wakes his faithful friend.

"Tonto, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Tonto replies, "Me see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?" asks The Lone Ranger. Tonto ponders for a minute.

"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially
billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Chronologically, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What it tell you, Kemo Sabi?"

The Lone Ranger is silent for a moment, then speaks:

"Tonto, you dumb-butt, someone has stolen our tent."