Sorry for my two cents but I also agree with Dan and Jess. Why are you being dictated to as if you are the one with all the problems and everyone else is immune to that? You seem to have accepted that you're the only one at fault also. Don't be so hard on yourself-it does seem as if every body involved needs to come to the negotiating table and explain their part in this. You can't be all to blame. (((((HUGS)))))