Quote Originally Posted by Karen
She will not be 13 forever. That, I promise. Can you take her to lunch, away from everyone, and clear the air calmly, say, "I know other people have told you things about me, but I'd like to start this relationship over, just between you and I. I know I'm not your mother, I never aimed to replace her. I am married to your father, and trying my best to be a part of this family. Do you have any questions you want to ask me?" And if she refuses, well, you've made your best effort.
OK... I have a better grasp of things now! Sorry to have jumped the gun. Karen's advice (as everyone's) is also quite good. I too think a Mulligan (or a DO-OVER) is in order. How about a "just you an me" day. Maybe some shopping (I know "my girls" sure like to shop) and then lunch/dinner and a nice long, let' s start over chat. Maybe you can do your best to talk about love and relationships (at a 13 year old perspective) - and how you feel about her Dad and your new family. Maybe ask her if she has a boyfriend??? (Try to get into her space a little -something you two can share). Maybe someone special that she likes? Could use it as a seguay (sp?) into how you and her father became romatically attracted (unless you were the reason for the parent's breakup - then you may have to use a different twist). Explain that you know what it feels like to have that flutter heart and tongue tied feeling when that special boy walks by. Offer advice on how she can catch his attention. If there is some way that you can establish a repoire on something as sensitive as this - that is special between just you and her - you may become a confident, and a special person in her life - "BECAUSE YOU UNDERSTAND" what she is going through.

Think about if there is something like this that you take a prominent role in and become the "go to" person in this area of her life!!! usually the more personal it is - "like boys", the stronger a potential bond can become. Good luck!!!