For Tok

[Dorothy39]

Tears were running down my cheeks, down my neck, while I read your latest post. I have blocked a lot of harsh memories during those last hours during Foxy Jeans" life, and , your post , anchored me in the chair in front of my computer.
Wow, I am experiencing something now, something that I thought was hidden . You are so up front, and so personnal with your pain. I tend to deny those memories. Those, Flash Light memories.

Because, being older now, I knew what was going on that night.I really knew that Foxy was going to die. Dam!!! I chose to "block out the memories of those horrid last days .And then, you used a flash light on ME when I read your post.
Thank You .I sure did need your reply.

As it was, on December 22nd, 2005---
We had an appointment the next day, to put Foxy Jean down.Oh well, Foxy Jean helped me to avoid that experience altogether when she died on my bed instead.

I cried so hard when I read about Tok being eased from his pain. About his hugs good-bye.

And, also about your dog who grieved afterwards.

You vividly posted those last moments with Tok. For all the world to read.

You are so brave to have submitted this tribute for TOK on a forum!!!!

You have acknowledged my inner most pain, a memory that I guarded,and thought I had successfully blocked. Tok was digging, digging, digging.And, Foxy was always trying to find a place to hide from me, so she could just die. She was not affaid to die at all.

Foxy Jean was my gift from God!!!! Thank-you for helping ME to understand her so well.

[robroy20]

When I read the post about Tok and the hole he dug ,and how you were with the flash light.It brought up my past and all the doggies I had.How many times have we all went out to the barn or wherever to look for our buddy or the old girl and found them the way they wanted to leave this world and take the journey to the R.B.Theres so much more I want to say but Sissy is doing her begging thing.You know where she sets on her but and takes her front legs and begs.She is still there looking at me..
I will go now....Bob

[dawnph]

I am so sorry for your loss. My Cole had his first bloat 6/11/06,had surgery,was doing great until last friday he went in to severe shock when his stomach flipped again and i couldnt save him. i so feel your pain. your Tok and my Cole are playing at RB waiting til the time that we will all be together again.

Cole's mom

[howl4metok]

I am so sorry for your loss. My Cole had his first bloat 6/11/06,had surgery,was doing great until last friday he went in to severe shock when his stomach flipped again and i couldnt save him. i so feel your pain. your Tok and my Cole are playing at RB waiting til the time that we will all be together again.

Cole's mom

I heard about Cole. A handsome Great Dane mix. Knowing how horrible bloat can be, I can't imagine living through it twice in such a short time, with the same poor puppy. I'm so sorry Cole's last days were less than peaceful. At the very least his pain is gone. I know it's of some comfort to me to think that Tok will never know pain again.

[cyber-sibes]

(((hugs))) This thread is so sad, yet so beautiful...too many tears to type through right now, but thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

[howl4metok]

Foxy Jean was my gift from God!!!! Thank-you for helping ME to understand her so well.

Trust me, I'm as amazed as you are at what we can still learn from our furbabies even after they've gone.
When I lost a dear Golden Retreiver, Sandy, many years ago I was crushed. I locked it in and pushed it away and somehow it never made it easier to deal with. It certainly made it worse. I was afraid to say that I was greiving for a dog, I was certain no one could understand that a dog could make such an impact.
but they can.
A bit older now with other dogs and a family to care for, it all may have helped keep me grounded. Mostly my husband, also decended from a long line of dogs, helped me see I wasn't alone in missing Tok, and that is was ok to be open about how I felt. It really helped me to remember Tok for the better times, and know it's ok to be sad about losing him. If someone thinks its foolish to be so attached to a dog, I don't care. Their loss, not mine.
Now, instead of trying to push it away, I'm letting myself grieve and also allowing myself to be happy and greatful for the time we had. It's nice to be able to focus on something besides how he died.
It has helped so much.