What do you call your in-laws?

[Cataholic]

Cataholic....this is a question for you. I do NOT like being called by my first name by children (nor doctors who in turn expect to be called Dr. X...) I cringe when my friends' children call me "Sara" but that is how they choose to raise them.

What will you do if a child is being raised to always call adults Mr/Mrs/Ms? Will you insist they call you Johanna anyway? Will Jonah call you Johanna? Will he call his teachers by their first names?

I can clearly remember the first time I was asked to call an adult by her first name. It was a work situation and she became my first mentor. I felt so privileged and grown up! It was one of those rites of passage.

So I am curious Ms. Johanna.....

Permission granted! (Though I don't have the authority, since it is PCB thread, but, I have it on good authority she adores the both of us, so, she prolly won't mind ).

Therein lies the rub- you and I feel differently about how to be addressed. So, you should do what makes YOU most comfortable (as I am sure you do). Jonah will call me mommy, or some variation thereof....because we share an intimate relationship, and, for most of us, calling someone 'mom' is indicative of a closer bond than calling one by their first name. He will call his teachers by whatever their preference is, though, I imagine it would be by their last name. Again, that is not the same type of close knit family/friends relationship (unless you are in the Catholic church- JOKE!!!). His friends, if they are/were raised to address an adult by Mr/Mrs, well, then, they will call me what their parents see fit, as I only control my world, not theirs. However, I will indicate my preference, and they can make that decision.

I think everyone has the 'right' to make their preference known, and mine is for a more informal structure. I am talking about in general, not as in this thread- I am not saying (for those reading into things) that I think you are questioning my right to post my opinion, as I know you are not. Again, for me, it has nothing to do with respect/authority. It has everything to do with intimacy, as is similar in some other cultures' languages. Our language doesn't have the formal/informal structure, say, for instance that there is in Italian, or spanish.

Because of my advanced maternal age, I have a fair amount of friends with young children. These might be friends I had while I was in high school or college with, and include some neighboring kids. They ALL call me Johanna(which, btw, is always pronounced correctly by the kids...if ONLY I could get the parents on board, LOL). I don't feel anything by it. But, I respect you feel differently.

As for doctors...even my vet addresses me by Ms. Blankety blank, and I in turn, address him as Doctor (well, when I don't slip and call him White Coat). My physican addresses me as 'counselor', and my dentist and I are on first name basis! I agree, those that would take it up a notch, I would probably be bothered by the different levels of formality.

Further, in the professional environment, I do address people by Mr/Ms until they have invited me otherwise. But, that is in keeping with my weirdness, really, as I do not have an intimate relationship with them.

So, my question back to you, Miss Sara, is why do you feel the way you do?