I want Jonah's friends, when he acquires them, to call me Johanna. That is my name, my preference. I don't have problems with authority, and it doesn't denote respect for me (others might be different) for me to be addressed as Ms. blankety blank. It denotes formality. It distances us. That is different. I don't want formality in my life. I don't want distance. I want closeness, affection, etc. If genuine affection and closeness doesn't bring about respect/authority issues, I have failed. I haven't aquired it somehow by the way someone addresses me.

There is someone at work that would call me 'maam'. She said, "oh, that is just what I was taught, it is respectful". Really? How can calling someone your junior in age, despite them asking you NOT to be considered respectful? N-O-T!

So, ask your inlaws what they prefer. It is the ONLY sensible thing to do.