What do you think is a good age to have a child(ren)?

**catnapper** · 06-17-2006, 06:24 PM

Originally Posted by Glacier

I have to disagree with that. I was a child protection worker for a number of years. I met many women from all walks of life who deeply regretted they had children. Not all of them were abusive to their children(not every family involved with CPS is abusive), but in some cases their kids paid a terribly high price for their mother's regrets.

True - I suppose my opinion is slightly colored by the high I'm currently feeling about the baby

Its unfathomable to me to think that just because this baby was born to a young mom as a complete surprise that it would mean its not loved or wanted. Yes she is young (too young in my honest opinion) but she will be a great mom and this child will know nothing but love at home.

I know poor Ashley's own mom couldn't care less about her 3 kids. Pretty sad to see the end results: the disappointment and empty feeling because their mom doesn't want to think of them

Ashley said that if her mom called about the baby all she'd say is, "Thank you for showing me how NOT to be a mom."

**caseysmom** · 06-17-2006, 06:34 PM

Kim, Ashley is very blessed to have such supportive parents...it doesn't work out that way for all teen pregnancies, yes your grandchild will be blessed with love and support. Unfortunately the sacrifices will be for Ashley but she will be rewarded with a grown child before she is 40, yes I mean that, your grandson will have a Mom well into his life and not lose her at an early age. I had my kids at 30, not by choice I went through years of infertility, there is some down sides to having kids older, mostly the energy thing.

**Zippy** · 06-17-2006, 06:47 PM

It is diff for each person.

**zoey** · 06-17-2006, 06:58 PM

I think it depends on individual maturity levels.
A friend of a friend I know just had a baby @ 28 which a lot of people would consider to be a perfect motherhood age.
Yet, this girl is an immature, totally self absorbed drug attict and alcoholic who in my opinion will probobly not be a good mother. *ahem*
The first friend is smitten with her and refuses to believe that she'll fail miserably.
I am occasionally in a position where I have to deal with her and use this time to observe and document, since there is a precious child at stake. (She drank through entire pregnancy.) *sigh*
My point is, I didn't vote b/c there is no right answer.
My own mother began having all of us at 18 and did remarkably well, in spite of the sperm donors refusal to contribute time or money. *shrug*

**CalliesMom** · 06-17-2006, 07:08 PM

I think it depends upon the person. Until recently, I never wanted to have children. I grew up with a mom who is mentally ill, emotionally and verbally abusive and I have always been afraid I would turn out like her if I had children.

However, now that I am older and in a loving relationship, I realize that my husband and I would provide a wonderful home to our children. We will not being having children for at least another two/three years as I'm still in school and we cannot afford them yet.

I thought I might be pregnant this month but am not. I was a wee bit disappointed but realize now is not a good time.

Anyway, some people should never have children, some are good parents at younger ages, and some like me needed to wait until they were older and more mature to be parents.

**Cataholic** · 06-17-2006, 09:15 PM

Of course, it depends. I do think it is better to wait a bit, finish your education, become a bit more financially established, and a bit more emotionally mature. Having a child is hard work, and having the above mentioned makes it easier. Not easy, but, easier.

Having Jonah 'late' in life (he he he, I was 38) has some drawbacks, and some positives. Probably, for me, more positives. The biggest drawback, as has been mentioned, is the fact I possibly won't see his children born. That is difficult for me. The positives- I am who I am, I am comfortable with me, I have done all the things I wanted to do, and I can provide for him on my own.

When I had Jonah, I realized it was the perfect time.

**dogzr#1** · 06-17-2006, 09:25 PM

I chose between the ages of 26 and 29. It's not really early or late, and it is right in the middle. Most people are stable (physically, emotionally, and financially) by then. Some may wait until they are 30 to have kids, which is also ok. I, myself, will probably wait until I'm out of college until I even plan on having kids.