What do you think is a good age to have a child(ren)?

[K9soul]

I agree that it's different in every situation, some people should never have children at any age! I do feel that it is ideal if one can get out and live life awhile as well as build up financial and emotional security before planning children.

[catnapper]

Well, Ashley is 18, and NEVER considered having a baby. She in fact was the one who always said she'd adopt rather than give birth to a baby herself. Sometimes having a child isn't something you plan according to age or finances. Sometimes major "oops" change your life when you're least expecting it... and nobody has ever regretted having a child no matter the age they were when they had them.

[Kfamr]

Sometimes having a child isn't something you plan according to age or finances.

Not trying to step on any toes, but I highly disagree.

You can plan not having a child at a certain age or stage in your finances, easily. I am 18 years old and don't plan to have sex until I am fully ready financially - JUST IN CASE.

Yes, everyone has different morals in life, doesn't mean anyone's wrong or right, but it is VERY possible to plan according to age and financials.

I personally don't want to go thru pregnancy, ever. It may change when I get married and the time is right for children in my family, but right now it isn't appealing to me. I'd love to adopt.

[catnapper]

I said SOMETIMES.

If you go through life planning every little detail, then you miss out o wonderful surprises along the way. I never planned on marrying a man with 3 teenagers and being a grandmom at 33. Yet I feel so blessed that I am. If I lived my life according to some arbitrary plan, I'd have NEVER married my husband and wouldn't be experiencing this wonderful joyous moment of having a grandchild.

When I met my husband, I was making a good $10,000 a year more than he did. I had a great job and made GOOD money. If I had a child then based on finances, I'd be sorely surely surprised right now because I am making $15,000 less than hubby.

I stand by the idea that you can't always plan your life and when you'll have children SOMETIMES things just happen to change your life.

[Kfamr]

I said SOMETIMES.

I'm very capable of reading, thanks!

I was just expressing my opinion on your statement. I don't have every little moment in life planned. However, such a big commitment like that, in my life, needs to be planned and thought out. I wouldn't want having a child to be surprise - I'd want to be as ready I can possibly be.

As I said, everyone in life has their own morals.

[K9soul]

...and nobody has ever regretted having a child no matter the age they were when they had them.

Not trying to pick on you here Kim , but I disagree with this sentiment although I think I understand how you mean it.. However some people DO have regrets about having a child at a bad point in their life. They may not regret the child itself but they regret having it at a time when they were unable to provide for him/her the way a child needs to be provided for. There are so, so many children who are born to parents who have no support at all, have no home even and have to stay in a shelter, and the parent(s) have to watch their child grow up without the opportunities many other children have.

Mental illness can also be a huge factor. Someone in a horrible depression having to deal with an unplanned child and without support may feel horrible regret and devastation over it, it can even interfere with bonding with the child. My mother worked for many years in child support enforcement, so she saw a lot of the not so happy sides of having unplanned children.

Very very sadly, not all parents love their children. I believe MOST do but there are those out there who treat their children horribly or blame them for their troubles, telling them horrible things like what a mistake they were. I can't imagine the tormented life these kids are brought up with, when they have parents who don't show love for them, parents who blame them for their lot in life. For the people who are like this, the children pay dearly for being born of an "oops".

[Suki Wingy]

whenever YOU are ready. My mom had me at 23 and my dad and she were clearly not ready because they divorced about 6 weeks later.

[Glacier]

. and nobody has ever regretted having a child no matter the age they were when they had them.

I have to disagree with that. I was a child protection worker for a number of years. I met many women from all walks of life who deeply regretted they had children. Not all of them were abusive to their children(not every family involved with CPS is abusive), but in some cases their kids paid a terribly high price for their mother's regrets.

Weins--you left off an option--Never! Stuart and I could financially, physically, emotionally support a child, but will soon be taking steps to ensure it never happens.

[catnapper]

I have to disagree with that. I was a child protection worker for a number of years. I met many women from all walks of life who deeply regretted they had children. Not all of them were abusive to their children(not every family involved with CPS is abusive), but in some cases their kids paid a terribly high price for their mother's regrets.

True - I suppose my opinion is slightly colored by the high I'm currently feeling about the baby Its unfathomable to me to think that just because this baby was born to a young mom as a complete surprise that it would mean its not loved or wanted. Yes she is young (too young in my honest opinion) but she will be a great mom and this child will know nothing but love at home.

I know poor Ashley's own mom couldn't care less about her 3 kids. Pretty sad to see the end results: the disappointment and empty feeling because their mom doesn't want to think of them Ashley said that if her mom called about the baby all she'd say is, "Thank you for showing me how NOT to be a mom."

[caseysmom]

Kim, Ashley is very blessed to have such supportive parents...it doesn't work out that way for all teen pregnancies, yes your grandchild will be blessed with love and support. Unfortunately the sacrifices will be for Ashley but she will be rewarded with a grown child before she is 40, yes I mean that, your grandson will have a Mom well into his life and not lose her at an early age. I had my kids at 30, not by choice I went through years of infertility, there is some down sides to having kids older, mostly the energy thing.

[Zippy]

It is diff for each person.

[zoey]

I think it depends on individual maturity levels.
A friend of a friend I know just had a baby @ 28 which a lot of people would consider to be a perfect motherhood age.
Yet, this girl is an immature, totally self absorbed drug attict and alcoholic who in my opinion will probobly not be a good mother. *ahem*
The first friend is smitten with her and refuses to believe that she'll fail miserably.
I am occasionally in a position where I have to deal with her and use this time to observe and document, since there is a precious child at stake. (She drank through entire pregnancy.) *sigh*
My point is, I didn't vote b/c there is no right answer.
My own mother began having all of us at 18 and did remarkably well, in spite of the sperm donors refusal to contribute time or money. *shrug*

[lute]

i think 26-29 is agood age. i personally will NEVER have kids! i don't like them, i think babies smell terrible, and i'd much rather have dogs than kids!

[Zippy]

i personally will NEVER have kids! i don't like them,

That is how i feel.My pets are my kids.