Just a reminder for everyone ...

[Kfamr]

I think, for the most part, everyone on Pet Talk has been guilty for all of the above and still are on occasion.

I know when I joined 5-6 (I lost count?) years ago that I was not aware of the "proper" posting etiquette - I probably posted many pointless threads (which indeed showed with zero to no replies) and I still do! However, pointlessness is a matter of opinion - that's my opinion atleast. Someone may think it's pointless for me to post pictures of my dogs eating their first raw meal, however - it was something very important to me!


Which leads to what finn's mom was saying - which are pointless, which aren't? At first glance, I may think a thread is pointless - but when I think about it farther, if it makes that person happy.... so what? I don't have to reply to it and neither does anyone else. There's no law stating we have to!

I too am guilty about the "I agree" - I'm sure. However, I usually try to add something along with that.


As for some long-term members being "rude" or "stuck up" I do believe that is an unfair statement. We have been thru quite a bit here at Pet Talk - people lying about their deaths, going to emergency rooms, their pets getting hurt, and even having fake pets. For many, once trust is broken - it's gone for good. I know many people here are very leary of new members especially if their posts seem fishy. The best thing to do it be upfront 100% and try wording yourself as best as possible. Generally while surfing Pet Talk I have WordPad open and compile my thoughts there, read and re-read to make sure I am expressing myself as best I can. There are quite a few new members who I try giving the benefit of the doubt, but still don't know for sure about them, that includes some older members, too!



I remember getting "yelled at" for lack of better term for posting too many pictures. But, then when I went for a while without posting pictures, I got "yelled at" again! I quite caring what anyone else thought about my picture posting and just did it for me. I really enjoy posting pictures, I really enjoy receiving comments about them - but I cannot please everyone and myself at the same time. Sometimes we've just got to make sacrifices and sometimes we've got to do things soley for ourselves. As long as there's an equal balance, we're okay.


I admit there's not enough time in the day to reply to everyone - and there are period I go thru only replying to members I'm familiar with. But, isn't it usually like that in person? You don't just randomly pick somone out of the phone book to call - usually just your close friends, right? I have been personally ridiculed because some new members seem to think *just* because I have the top number of posts here, I'm SUPPOSED to reply to their threads, every single time? I know there are other members who don't reply to nearly the amount of threads I do, yet they never get "yelled at."

And I understand that there are many people who reply to my posts - and I appreciate that with every grain of my being (and I assume I make that pretty clear with my thank-yous) however like I said.. there just isn't enough time. I cannot express how much it means to me when I receive comments about my three and if I could, I'd quit my job to have more time to reply to every single thread, post, or PM.


Okay.. I'm done for now and will sit here with my fingers crossed hoping no one takes this the wrong way.


{{GROUP HUG}}

[shihtzulover850]

I understand the trust thing and thank you for explaining things nicely. I din't know you had the most posts here! wow!

[finn's mom]

Kay, wow, there's not a thing in your post that isn't obviously from the heart, and, if it's taken the wrong way, bah. It's a fantasticly well written, very well said post. I'm glad I got back online and saw that.

[K9soul]

I feel I'd like to clarify a bit on my "pointless post" comment since there seems to be confusion about that. I really have no problem with people who post something that is important to them even though it may be a "small" thing. What I tend to be talking about are those who, it seems to me, are deliberately making an effort to rack up a post count as fast as they can, to start many many 'chatroom' type threads every single day, and the MOMENT these people get 1,000 posts they are the FIRST to run to general and announce it, because I think people enjoy the pillarhood posts and sometimes newer people get in a rush to see one of their own. I'm speaking of the posts that almost read like an instant messenger conversation or chat room.

I work a job where I type all day, often from morning until I go to bed, and I just can't keep up here the way I'd like. I always hate responding only to 1-2 people, and then others start reading things into it such "well she only responds to older people" or "she must not like me." So I've gotten to the point where my posting is very minimal at this time. However I truly enjoy taking a break from work for a couple minutes sometimes, and looking through pictures, or reading a story.

I think this thread is very constructive and gives everyone something to think about from differing perspectives. We just have to be open to that rather than getting defensive and reading too much negative into people's thoughts.

[Lizzie]

I have found this thread constructive also, though I wasn't sure it would be when I first saw it.

I just checked when I joined and was shocked that it's nearly 6 months, but I still feel like a newbie - and to those that have been here 4+ years, I am. I've done a few things to fit in better with an established community and I think it has helped me. I realized after a few weeks that I couldn't simply post my questions and wait for answers, I had to join in and comment on other people's problems, commiserate with their losses, and become a useful member of the community rather than using it. I've also tried to learn posters first names by seeing the way they are referred by others who have been here a long time, hoping at the same time that I'm not insulting them by using their first name unasked.

I have to accept the fact that I'm a text person (I clung to DOS and ignored icons for as long as I could) but more people are picture oriented, and that I need to post a photo or two if I want to attract attention to my thread. I often feel guilty that I rarely write a response to the mainly photo threads, but that's better than saying something for the sake of it.

Anyway, I also thank you Lindsey, for starting this thread.

[K9soul]

Lizzie, I had a trouble remembering names for a long time (and sometimes still do). One thing that helped me is sometimes people would start a thread and ask others to post their names to help get to know them. Perhaps we should do that again with so many newer people here.

I also have to agree with something said earlier that it can make someone look silly if they reply without really reading what they are replying to. For example, someone posts a picture, sharing about a pet that has passed away, telling about the pet and what he/she meant to them.. and you suddenly see a reply "Oh he's cute! How old is he?" It's really advisable to make sure you read a post before you reply

[Vela]

I feel I'd like to clarify a bit on my "pointless post" comment since there seems to be confusion about that. I really have no problem with people who post something that is important to them even though it may be a "small" thing. What I tend to be talking about are those who, it seems to me, are deliberately making an effort to rack up a post count as fast as they can, to start many many 'chatroom' type threads every single day, and the MOMENT these people get 1,000 posts they are the FIRST to run to general and announce it, because I think people enjoy the pillarhood posts and sometimes newer people get in a rush to see one of their own. I'm speaking of the posts that almost read like an instant messenger conversation or chat room.

I work a job where I type all day, often from morning until I go to bed, and I just can't keep up here the way I'd like. I always hate responding only to 1-2 people, and then others start reading things into it such "well she only responds to older people" or "she must not like me." So I've gotten to the point where my posting is very minimal at this time. However I truly enjoy taking a break from work for a couple minutes sometimes, and looking through pictures, or reading a story.

I think this thread is very constructive and gives everyone something to think about from differing perspectives. We just have to be open to that rather than getting defensive and reading too much negative into people's thoughts.

Sorry but I have to say it, I agree =x. We work the same job so I have the same thoughts on this. I very much enjoy the stories and pictures even though I don't always say something, especially if a lot of people already have, since I would have nothing left to add, although I do enjoy them. If there is a thread or question about something I don't know about, I don't post, I can't help them. Seems like posting "well I don't know" to it would be pointless. And I have seen some people do this in many posts. If it's a question or problem and you can't either offer a suggstion to help or encouragement, don't post to it maybe. Saying thigs like "I don't know" or "aww too bad" doesn't really do anything but clutter the board. I also am not a big fan of posts about things like "I read a book" or "I had steak for dinner", if you know what I mean. That's great, but it really clutters the board for those with something more to say than that. But that's just me, and how I feel about it. I hate missing a post about a sick or dying pet or person, just because someone wanted to tell us how many times a day their dog poops. I really don't think anyone in this thread is trying to upset anyone else, and it's not about exclusion of anyone, it's about realizing that sometimes posting things like that can detract from the board environment for everyone and we all need to try to have board etiquette and think how what we post and how often we post it can have positive and negative consequences.

[finn's mom]

If it's a question or problem and you can't either offer a suggstion to help or encouragement, don't post to it maybe. Saying thigs like "I don't know" or "aww too bad" doesn't really do anything but clutter the board.

I agree with most of what's been said so far in this thread and how it's been said. But, on this, I must comment. This is where it gets fuzzy on what's proper etiquette. There are some people who would rather you say something (even if it's "i don't know, i'm sorry i can't help"), than just view and not reply at all. Again, I think the biggest thing to remember is that you can't please everyone. I think there are a lot of people would rather know that someone read their question and thought about it and told them that they don't know how to help, as opposed to seeing 30 views and one reply. I'm not disagreeing with you, Vela, just pointing out that it can be very confusing to someone on what's the proper thing to do. And, I think in some cases, there isn't always one right answer. It just depends on the poster as to what they like to see.

[Vela]

I agree with most of what's been said so far in this thread and how it's been said. But, on this, I must comment. This is where it gets fuzzy on what's proper etiquette. There are some people who would rather you say something (even if it's "i don't know, i'm sorry i can't help"), than just view and not reply at all. Again, I think the biggest thing to remember is that you can't please everyone. I think there are a lot of people would rather know that someone read their question and thought about it and told them that they don't know how to help, as opposed to seeing 30 views and one reply. I'm not disagreeing with you, Vela, just pointing out that it can be very confusing to someone on what's the proper thing to do. And, I think in some cases, there isn't always one right answer. It just depends on the poster as to what they like to see.

Well this is true, I mean it more in the context of what Jessica said, that someone who posts generic responses to everyone's threads, really seems like they don't really care, they respond to all the threads the same pretty much and often say things to the point that you can even tell they didn't read it. I'm not saying NEVER post things like that...it's the megaposters who do it generically that don't seem to really care what is going on with that poster. There are always exceptions to every "rule" or situation.