I can't stop crying

[Ally Cat's Mommy]

((((HUGS))))

I don't know what your financial situation is - ie cost of you working (daycare,petrol, clothes etc) vs savings on these costs if you could stay at home??

I am still only working flexi-time - I work as a rentals agent, which is commission only, but I am NOT bringing in enough to justify spending time away from Cali. It was fine before she arrived, as it gave me an interest outisde the home (which I needed), but now I am re-assessing and.....

I don't know if this would work for you, but next month I am flying back to SA to do the "Infant Massage Instructor's Course". This will qualify me to run courses on infant massage for Mums and Babies.

I am going to do this from home - I will only average around $800 per month - IF I run 3 x 90 minute sessions per week. It's NOT a huge income, but it takes the sting off me not working, and when you work out how few hours I will be working it's enough. I am not sure how much Instructors charge for the courses in the US?

I am NOT doing this only for the money - I attended a course with Cali, and I found it to be a beautiful and special way to communicate with her. Now I want to pass this on to other new mums.

Maybe you could look into this....ie
- are there other people in your area offering Infant Massage classes
- if so, are they only doing daytime classes - there MUST be a niche for working mums to attend the class in an evening or Saturday morning, plus then Josh can attend to Aiden whilst you "work"

Other advantages:
- it is an international qualification, so you could still do it if you ever moved
- it's a great way to meet other mums with little ones

PM me if you want more info.

Sorry for the long post, but maybe this could work for you?

[4 Dog Mother]

I was able to be a stay-at-home mom until my youngest was 3. Then I worked part-time 3 evenings a week in a Church office. It worked for us because Carl babysat (why do fathers babysit and we just take care of our children?). It also forced him to spend more time with the kids and see that taking responsibility for everything they need isn't as easy at it sound. It wasn't until Christy was in 4th grade or so that I went full time.

You might think about something like that - then babysitting fees wouldn't be a part of what you are making and you still would have some evenings and weekends with your husband and still be with Aidan a good part of the time.

And I think too that too much has happened recently for you to not react emotionally to this. Losing a baby planned or not has to be tough not just on your emotions but your hormones as well. Grieving doesn't end just because you or others think enough time has passed ( and in this case it hasn't)

And if you find that you should have to go back full time for awhile, it doesn't mean you can't continue to look into ways of changing that and finding a way to be with Aidan. As so many have said, talk to other people and maybe you will find a way that you hadn't even thought of to please both Josh and your need to be with Aidan.

[shihtzulover850]

well why don't you want to work full-time? do you not like yur job?

[caseysmom]

well why don't you want to work full-time? do you not like yur job?

I think if you reread her first post you will answer your own question.

[shihtzulover850]

oh you poor thing. it must be tough.

[Samantha Puppy]

oh you poor thing. it must be tough.

Are you being sarcastic or sincere?